He comes to sleep over on the first day in my new dorm.
"Why don't we talk as much as we used too?" I ask.
"We've already said everything that needs to be said." he replies. He rolls over and buries himself in the sheets like a caterpillar building a cocoon. "G'night."
" 'Night." I say back, knowing that the conversation is over. Shortly after I turn off the lights, I hear what sounds like sniffling, crying. I turn on my lamp and suddenly his wet eyes are lit up by the fluorescent lighting. He quickly wipes away a tear and laughs, embarrassed.
"Nick, is everything okay?" I ask desperately.
"It's nothing. I don't know what got over me. Just go back to sleep, 'kay?"
I ignore his request. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He sighs and the fake-smile disappears from his face. "There's no point, there's nothing you can do." His eyes are lost, fists clenched tightly. I draw him a map with my finger on his neck.
"I love you; we can get through whatever's bothering you together." My voice begs him to talk to me. He looks away.
"But at least there's a cure for love." he murmurs under his breath.
"What?"
"Nothing," he replies. "Nothing at all."
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We go to Wonderland again.
"This time we don't have to line up in the singles' line," he says proudly. I laugh and slap his arm playfully. He won another gorilla for me. I named it Nate. He's carrying it on his shoulders as I browse which ride I want to ride like a child window-shopping in a candy-store.
After much begging, I convince him to ride the Carousel with me. He gets mad when I spend too long picking a horse, but when I do I'm sure that I picked the absolute best one. He stands beside me and holds my hand during the ride as I giggle and pretend to fall off. The Merry-Go-Round is in perfect view of Behemoth, Canada's largest coaster.
"Let's ride that after!" I say eagerly, pointing at the monstrous metal snake and tracing its designs with one eye closed. He smiles sleepily.
"For sure. But right now, I'm too tired."
When the ride slows to a halt, I jump off and drag him towards the Behemoth. He giggles teasingly and I attack him in a bear-hug. I suddenly realize how thin he is. I inspect his frame and he looks different. Like he doesn't have as much substance as he used to. Like someone poured milk over a skeleton. There's circles under his eyes and shadows under his cheek bones.
"Have you been losing weight?" I ask with worry.
"I don't know, I haven't weighed myself in a while." He smiles and dismisses any ounce of anxiety I had before.
Soon he gets tired and asks to sit down. I sit down beside him and he covers his mouth and starts coughing. I ask him if he wants a drink of water and he manages a "I'm fine" between coughs, shaking his head defiantly. I don't realize anything is wrong until he's pulling his hand away from his mouth and it's splattered with drops of red and he's grabbing my shoulder and saying "I'm sorry, so, so sorry" as best as he can and he's falling to the ground and I'm screaming his name and screaming help and just screaming in general. I close my eyes tightly and shake my head and open them again, hoping it was all a horrible, horrible dream but when my eyes crack open he's still lying on the ground, and I'm still screaming.
The paramedics don't let Nate the gorilla in the ambulance.
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He doesn't let me visit him in the hospital. Instead he calls me and tells me of the tumour in his lungs that they removed before he met me. He tells me how the doctors thought the cancer was gone, but it's back and it's spreading. He apologizes for not telling me. I listen to this silently, nodding my head as if he can see me and thanking god that he can't see me crying. About 5 minutes in to the conversation, he breaks out in tears as well.
"Why did the cancer have to come back..." he begins. "...when I actually have something to live for now?"
Despite his arguments, I come visit him in the hospital.
His sleepy eyes and smile are more sickly than sleepy now. I sit beside his bed and he strokes my hair, and it feels more like he's comforting me than I'm comforting him.
"When I get better, we'll go to Wonderland and ride Behemoth." says he.
"When I get better, I'll buy you that dress you always wanted." says he.
"When I get better, we'll get married and buy a little house in the suburbs and we can have 3 kids and a puppy named Humbert." says he.
"When I get better, we'll go dancing on the roof." says he.
He always says when I get better, when I get better but the day never seems to come.
The next day he says the same thing to me, except this time he replaces "when" with "if".
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Be Great Nelena One-Shot p1by JonasDemiLove199 views
So sad :'(
nelena2010 1 year ago