Butch/Femme? Gender, Not Necessarily Sexuality.

This is a response to iTSHOLO's video STUD/FEM: A lesbian guide to fitting into the heterosexual norm. It was an interesting video, you should all check out her channel. But I just wanted to explain my take on the whole thing.

I think that the term butch should be looked at more as gender variance rather than trying to emulate heterosexuals. To me, it has very little to do with sexuality and everything to do with gender. I'm not playing a role, I'm just being myself.

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• butch
• stud
• ag
• dom
• femme
• dynamic
• fem
• dyke
• queer
• lesbian
• community
• heterosexual
• norm
• julzb525
• iTSHOLO

[femmedrea]

Great video! I love that you are so open. I'm a Queer-femme lesbian, how's that for a title? Currently dating a transman who identifies as queer and not straight. There are so many shades of gray out there that everyone has to choose their identity based on themselves, how they feel inside, outside and who they choose to date and who they can't help being attracted to.

[JulzB525]

@femmedrea Thanks for the comment! I'm glad you liked the video.

[DRMweevr]

Your cool. I will say though we arent the same butch.. if your a butch that likes other butchs or any other kind of lesbian then your a butch lesbian. Which is cool but different from a butch gender. The butch gender only wants a Femme that understands what it is in its dynamics. The butch gender isnt a female but isnt a man either.. but we dont mind being mistaken for one. We are the bender and the femme that finds us knows exactly what we are thats what makes it so awesomely dynamic.

[JulzB525]

I don't agree with you on that. If a man liked another man, we wouldnt question the validity of his manhood. Who hes attracted to has nothing to do with his gender. So why would the fact that Im not exclusively attracted to femmes have anything to do with my gender as a butch?

Lesbian is a term used to describe a homosexual woman. I am not a woman. I'm not a man, either. Im a butch. Therefore, I dont see lesbian as an accurate description for me.

[JulzB525]

Beyond that, I prefer the term queer because I'm attracted to all sorts of queer and/or trans folks. Im comfortable enough with my identity to admit that Im attracted just about everyone except straight cis men (sorry fellas, nothing personal). The fact that Im attracted to Rachel Maddow or my buddy Carson from Trannystar Galactica (duplicatekeys) has absolutely nothing to do with my gender as a butch. If I say Im butch, then I am and Im not about to let anyone tell me otherwise.

[emisocks]

great video- thanks for being such an intelligent voice in support of butch/femme topics. ps you're quite a looker ;)

[JulzB525]

"Quite a looker"?!! Hot damn, that just makes my day. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed the video and I really appreciated this comment.

[marissaspeer]

sorry, but that last sentence ". . .fear of others judgement I'm not has been. . ." should read, ". . . fear of others judgement has been and. . ." The "I'm not" was supposed to be erased.

[marissaspeer]

somewhere down there in the comments you guys were mentioning trans folk, so that's kinda what i was replying to as well as the video. I have also struggled with people seeing me as something I am not and making assumptions based on what they see. Its paradoxical to what I envision a queer community being. To be fully comfortable expressing myself however I want without letting fear of others judgement I'm not has been and continues to be a journey.

[marissaspeer]

thanks for sharing! I guess I'm a year late for this video, oops. One thing I love transfolk for is the questions regarding gender and sexuality that they can force us to ask. i.e. lesbian identified couple with one partner going through a ftm transition leaving the lesbian identified woman questioning her identity. Have you checked out Kate Bornestein? I loved book Gender Outlaw. She rocks! I'm not femme or butch or totally andro either. . .

[aqstoy]

is there such a thing as SOFT BUTCH? is it the same as butch lesbian?

[aqstoy]

is there such a thing as SOFT BUTCH?

[orangerevolt]

Love the video and the Banksy shirt!

[Imogen1885]

I love butch women. I always say having a butch is like having a guy without the assholeness.

[Mav3ricky]

Ok, Julz?- you're sooo elfishly cute! :) Sorry for the off-topic, but I was squeeing the whole time. And as a femmy, I think you are right. But, hey, humans - troublesome.

[schaefferbecky]

love the vid!!! you go girl!!!

[OFFICIALINFINITETV]

great video!