The Fire

On Easter, my grandpa (my mom's father) set his house on fire and then killed himself in his bedroom. He shot himself with a .38. He was 77.

I grew up in that house from birth until I was an adult, and my mom--along with my grandpa and grandma--literally help build the house brick by brick.

My grandma died 12 years ago, and I think that my grandpa remained deeply, deeply heartbroken ever since. She was his everything.

When my grandparents first met at a very young age, my grandpa told my grandma, "One day, I'm going to build you a house." I don't think my grandma ever believed him, but he was a man of his word. The house was built around 1978 on 5 acres of land, southeast of Tucson.

But now, as you can see, my grandpa took the house with him when he decided to end his life.

I don't talk about it much.

Last night, when it started to rain, I couldn't stop thinking about my childhood and growing up in the house. I still remember the sound of the rain as it fell upon the roof, and how safe and secure I felt.

As I remembered that, I thought that now there is no roof to protect the house from the rain. It just pours down onto the ashes that once were a place of great happiness and love. The house just sits, lifeless and broken.

Over the last few months, I have come to realize that no matter how much pain I have in my heart, no matter how hard it rains, the memories I have of my grandpa, the house and the great memories we shared can never be washed away.

If your reading this, please say a prayer for "Pop" and my family. Thank you for taking time to read this, looking at the pictures and trying to understand.


MUSIC: "Why" by Rascal Flatts

LYRICS:

It must have been a place so dark you couldn't feel the light,
Reaching for you through that stormy cloud.
Now here we are gathered in our little home town.
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd.

Oh, why, that's what I keep asking.
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul.
God only knows what went wrong.
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song.

Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old.
Rounding third to score the winning run.
You always played with passion, no matter what the game.
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun.

Oh, why, that's what I keep asking.
Was there anything I could have said or done.
Oh, I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul.
God only knows what went wrong.
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song.

Now the oak trees are swaying in the early autumn breeze.
The golden sun is shining on my face.
The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing
This whole world really ain't that bad of place

Oh, but I do have one burning question
Who you told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong!
They lied!
Now you're gone, and we cried...

Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song.
Your beautiful song. Your absolutely beautiful song.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Suicide
• Vail
• Tucson
• Arizona
• Calle Miel
• Fire
• Easter
• 2009
• House Fire

[snowmancandle2]

i'm sorry this happened to you and your family,i did say a Prayer,may the Lord Bless,comfort yall and give yall PEACE!! AMEN!

[babydoll9205]

I'm so sorry Sarah =(