The Savage Eye - Citizenship Classes

PART 1
Mary Robinson: You're very welcome to the Aras. (Music). Welcome to Citizenship Classes with me the Irish Nation and it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you Ajiboye from Nigeria and I will be navigating him from the social waters in this country providing him with a canoe, so to speak. A thing that visitors should know when coming to this country is that when we insult you in Ireland it means we're comfortable in your presence. It means we like you. It's part of our culture. For instance, Ajiboye, if I was to say to you "look at the head of you, were you dragged through a bush bcakwards?" How does that make you feel?
Ajiboye:Bad
Mary Robinson:OK. The fact that you didn't enjoy being insulted, in our country, that means you're a racist.
Ajiboye:Why?
Mary Robinson:So lets try it again. I'm going to insult you now but this time enjoy it. Ajiboye,"Look at the head on you, it looks like a cabbage", how does that make you feel?
Ajiboye: I like it.
Mary Robinson:You're so welcome to this country.
PART 2
Mary Robinson: You're welcome to the Aras. (Music). Welcome to Citizenship Classes with me the Irish Nation. Lets try another example. If an Irish friend was to ask you "How are things", what would you say Ajiboye?
Ajiboye: I would say "I'm feeling very happy because I just got a job promotion".
Mary Robinson: Are you out of your flahocking mind. Never tell an Irish person good news. Make it sound like bad news. If somebody was to ask me "How are things" I would say "My sister has pancreatic cancer and I got a new job". Now try it again. Any news Ajiboye?
Ajiboye: My sister cut her fingers, but I got a new job.
Mary Robinson: Thats Good, your thinking in the right direction but increase the horror of the story, one more time Ajiboye, Any news?
Ajiboye:My sister had an epileptic fit on the plane. She bit off her tongue, but there was no medical help so she bled to death. But I got a job promotion.
Mary Robinson: You are most welcome to Ireland and you now fully understand fully our heritage. See you next time.

Mick Daly: They're everywhere. Gay Queers. Queers that don' know they're queers. They're the queers.
Ajiboye:How are you? How are you? May I have a drink please?
Mick Daly: I think you're in the wrong place.
Ajiboye:My sister had an epileptic fit on the plane. She bit off her tongue, there was no doctor, so she bled to death.
Customer: Yahoo. Get that man a drink. (Laughing) Good man yourself. Welcome to Ireland. So was there a big funeral or what?

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• The
• Savage
• Eye
• RTE
• Citizenship
• Classes
• Mary
• Robinson
• Ajiboye
• Irish
• Nation

[davidmcallan105]

Are you out of your falooking mind

[nickwithtrains]

@davidmcallan105 i think you mean flahooking but thanks for the comment anyway

[junglejuice4523]

@phoney98 yes and no, yes in that we tell a lot of racist jokes but it's not centralised on one race. No, because bar the few exceptions it's rarely out of bigotry

[phoney98]

please tell me ireland's not THAT racist... :(

[tumadoireacht]

This is really really skilled social observation and comedy.

[sibeal1000]

haha Love it

[feckarsebubis]

You're very welcome to the Áras.

Haha, she says that brilliant!

Sounds so much better than "You're very welcome to the Pentagon..." or something.

The Áras kicks downing street's arse.