Uploaded on Jun 29, 2010
Life in a Day Video, set to original music. Watch our full 9 Part SICK Web Series: http://bit.ly/PkN7Jg
A video and poem created for Life in a Day at the request of Kevin Macdonald and Ridley Scott, to get people to submit footage to Life in a Day. This was created on my 180th day in isolation. I wrote, recorded and edited it in my hospital room on my laptop.
For a total of 6 months between Dec 2009 and June 2010, I had been living in a hospital room, isolated because of a case of Multi-Drug-Resistant Tuberculosis that I picked up travelling overseas. This video allows you to join me, in my hospital room, for my 180th Day.
I started Youtubing from inside hospital as "The Fully Sick Rapper" as a way to give a few mates a laugh, and keep myself busy, but it fast became a way for me to keep myself distracted from the health issues I have been facing, share my experience with the world, bounce positive energy off people going through similar circumstances, and escape the four walls of my quarantined room.
This video was made 3 days before I was told that I was cleared to go home, and when I made it, I was unsure of when (if ever) I was going to be able to go home again.
Here are the lyrics:
Some days I am proud of the man in my reflection.
I see a man who is full of life, and full of passion,
a man that makes light of this heavy situation,
and one who lights the darkness to search for inspiration.
His head held high, not being a slave to this condition,
and not allowing it to affect him, he's occupied by distraction.
He'll never be a victim of a microscopic faction,
who's microscopic actions, cause these massive global repercussions.
Every little action in our lives, will result in a reaction,
Sometimes an addition will result in a subtraction.
The addition of strength right now, is a protection mechanism,
to subtract from his fear, and turn it into optimism.
..and the tiniest of ripples can become a tidal wave,
And the softest of whispers can take him away.
But when the flights of fantasy finally wear off,
he finds himself back in this room where he left off.
Today in this mirror, there's a man I don't recognize,
he's a boy wearing the body of a man for a disguise,
this is a boy for whom I can't help, but sympathize,
for it's the apparent strength of mine, on which this poor boy relies.
And these eyes in the mirror that stare back at me,
no longer offer the strength and comfort I long to see,
just a patient, a broken spirit, longing for sympathy,
someone to save me from sinking in self pity.
But too proud to accept pity, and not wanting weakness to be seen,
I'll wrap myself up in an artificial well-being,
cause it's better than seeing myself as a weak human being,
so I'll keep smiling and just keep on agreeing...
That everything's okay and that I'm feeling fine.
Cause I know that there are hundreds of thousands that are left to die,
who don't even get themselves the right to a medical file,
or see a doctor, see a nurse, see anyone, and meanwhile....
I can choose to be a victim, cursed from the beginning,
or can face up to fear, and do all my own forgiving,
for the risks I have taken, and the mistakes that I have made,
and for the errors of our brothers and sisters of yesterday.
Because the earth will still continue in its destined revolutions,
and us quick little humans pursue the fastest solutions,
and mark tiny ticks on paper, next to massive global problems,
and creating new illusions, instead of just solving them.
That's the train of thought that may keep me up tonight,
but I refuse to lose sight of the battle I have to fight,
and in my own little victory, I will win myself the right,
to see a man in the mirror, not a boy that hides inside.
And my pride has been enough to add light to this place,
and remind me of dreams that I'm still yet to chase,
and I'll embrace new life at the end of this race.
Today in my world, I met myself face to face.
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