Estranged Adult Children Part 1 of 2

DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP, AS PARENTS WE MAKE MISTAKES. FORGIVE YOURSELF AND MOVE ON! IF YOU KNOW YOU TRIED TO RECONNECT WITH YOUR KIDS AND THEY SAID NO, YOU CAN GO TO YOUR GRAVE KNOWING YOU CARED ENOUGH TO TRY, THEY CANNOT, AND THAT IS THEIR BURDEN TO CARRY, NOT YOURS, NOT YOURS, NOT YOURS!!!!!!

Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• adult children
• problems with adult children
• unforgiving children
• children won't talk to you
• chlidren stay out of your life
• estrangement
• angry adult children
• unappreciative children
• hurtful children
• dealing with adult children
• anger
• living in the past
• guilty mother

[dawnten]

You are right. No one is perfect & every parent makes mistakes, but on the other hand if the parent continues to portray themselves as being perfect & instead of admitting some things happened that shouldn't have an "I'm sorry" & an "I really love you." would go a long way to heal the situation. It isn't right in my own mothers case to look at me as if I am not perfect or good enough when I haven't made any of the enormous mistakes that she has. What I miss is who she never was to me, a Mom.

[nigella4me]

@dawnten Well, I don't know all you've been through, but the longer you hold on to anger, the more it eats you alive. If you're still on speaking terms with your mom, try to forget the past and build a new relationship with her. Sometimes parents just get lost in the whole deal of parenting. Holding on to the past just ruins everything. If you try a new relationship with her, and she stays the same, then you have your answer, but at least you tried, and that will give you peace of mind :)

[gingersnaps52]

Great advice, great video!!!!! Love all of your videos. Hope you make more on everything!!!!

[nigella4me]

@gingersnaps52 Thanks so much. I will start making more soon. Have a great weekend!

[crazy4bdd]

I found this to be almost exactly what I'm going through right now. Only my situation involves grandchildren and I miss them terribly. I need someone to help me with this and I believe your videos might help. My situation is horrible and I don't know what to do. Please make more videos on this subject.

[nigella4me]

@crazy4bdd I sympathize with you. I too have grandchildren that I don't get to see. The only way I can deal with it and not lose my mind, is to simply accept what is and wish my children and grandchildren the best in life. I can't force the issue, so I get through knowing that in my heart I love them more than they will ever know. I tried to reconnect, to no avail, but at least I tried and I can live with that. Get on with your life, only you can make you happy, and you're worth being happy! :)

[nigella4me]

@adamthefirstone He happens to have a genius level of intelligence. His ability to realize that people are human and don't do everything perfect, is something he applies to everyone, not just me. Because of this ability, he enjoys life to the fullest and everyone he meets adores him. He is kind, thoughtful, considerate, and full of forgiveness. These attributes have made his life wonderful.

[adamthefirstone]

And let me guess, the 21 year old is the youngest? Of course he is easier, the older ones got the brunt of your parenting failures. He could see how the rebellious behavior of the older ones got them nowhere but into a shitty situation. Try to have some freaking patience. Not all kids can be easy you know.

[adamthefirstone]

@nigella4me Nobody is that estranged from their parents for just one behavior. It is always a series of behaviors. And you are correct, that series comes from the child as well as the parent. But the parent is grown and has a responsibility to lead by example. If your daughter shows you anger and hate, it is because that is what you showed her. Your daughter came out knowing nothing and you taught her abandonment and separation by your own admission.

[nigella4me]

@adamthefirstone One last comment. I have a 21 year old son who went through the same life as my other children, yet he is extremely mature and realizes that everything may not have been done and said perfectly, but that's because parents aren't perfect, they're human. I have an amazing relationship with him because of his ability to understand, forgive, forget, and talk things out, plus he's the most respectful, thoughtful, and caring human being. Very, very easy to be with.