DC Celebrity: Stand-up at the DC Improv

Cough cough . . there may or may not be an uncensored version of this on http://youtube.com/EmergencyCheese .

WARNING: Mild language implied.

Read my blog!
http://www.politico.com/KOTECKI

In lieu of a regular episode of KoteckiTV, please enjoy this video (shot by my lovely fiancée Emily) of me competing last night in the 15th Annual Funniest Celebrity in Washington Contest. I had a great time even though I came in second to Mike Huckabee.

LYRICS

Secret Muslim terrorist politicians in house say ho!!!

I'm here 'cause David Shuster had to be replaced
'Cause his cable network just got disgraced
His convention coverage was a bit amiss
And so apparently it comes down to this!

I rep the P O L I T I C O
Practice every day to perfect the flow
And yeah times are tough, but I thought you should know
We're the only newspaper that continues to grow?

Oops, did I touch a nerve?
Journalism's in the ******* and you?re all disturbed
Well yeah you might get fired but hey, I don't sweat
Because I made my name on the Internet!

DC Celebrity
I don't think I am one but this drink was free?

Every other contestant here is a joke
Bob Barr?? Yeah good luck with the pothead vote
And Grover Norquist?? Man I'm not trying to be mean
I thought your tax policy WAS your stand-up routine!?

Huck you won Iowa 8 months ago
And now you're here telling jokes at a comedy show
It's just survival of the fittest I don't mean to be rude
But NOW do you believe in evolution dude?

And every other contestant's male white and old
So turn up your hearing aid ya 'bout to get told
I could be your intern, could be your grandson
But tonight you're gonna recognize I'm number one!

DC Celebrity
I just insulted Mike Huckabee!

Been on the campaign trail a year or more
And there are only three things that I know for sure
McCain is old. Obama's black
And if you mention either one you bound to get smacked!

Obama picked Biden to be his VP
Because he wanted a change in foreign policy
The guy served six terms and I hate to rant
But the only thing he changed was his hair implants!

McCain picked the Governor of Alaska
So there's just one question I have to ask ya
* * * LYRICS DELETED * * *
* * * TOO HOT FOR THE INTERNET! * * *

DC Celebrity
Please don't throw your food at me!

Category:

News & Politics

Tags:

• Politico
• koteckitv
• Funniest
• celebrity
• dc
• Washington
• contest
• david
• shuster
• mike
• huckabee
• james
• Kotecki
• rap
• standup
• comedy

[zockpuppet]

Fantastic. Nice dig on Shuster and Huckabee!

[sealord2k1]

AAHHHH!!...look at James chilling with Mike Huckabee, you guys look good together.

[beanbag1985]

james u need to unblock the censorship bro, not cool!

[andy370]

Yo yo. Dat'll show dat skanky ho

[jackieknoch]

Damn you James! Now I'm gonna be up all night wondering what the Palin joke was!

- Otherwise, awesome rap.

[Reu360]

I got a saying you could use:

Governor Sarah Palin, if Chuck Norris was a woman.

[Reu360]

I totally agree.

James, could you post the WHOLE thing on EmergencyCheese

[Jamandell]

You shouldn't censor yourself James, you shouldn't have bothered to post this at all) im sure everyone would have been able to understand the humour (you're not running for office after all)

[planetbaldy]

me too. repost WITh OUT palin edit.

[surfinjuli]

Who knew you were so funny??!! Great video - I'm impressed, and congrats on getting second place!

BTW I also agree that you shouldn't have cut the joke... Unlike others, I have no idea what you were going to say! :(