A Long Day In The Life Of Iran Short President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Next week is the Annual General Assembly meeting of the United Nations, to be attended by all of the world leaders including Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Today UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon released the text of the speech to be delivered by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad next week at the UN, here:
President Ahmadinejad:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Presidents and Prime Ministers, Kings and Queens. Thank you Ban. Are you any relation to Reverend Moon? I'm not against Moonies. All religions are welcome in Iran, even Scientologists. I loved 'Pulp Fiction' and 'Top Gun.' That Katie is some looker. Sean Penn went to visit Saddam but nobody from Hollywood has come to visit me. I've got a horrible reputation in the West, I think because of the western media. Look, even right now Secretary Clinton is walking out on me. Hillary, Hillary, come back, wait a second. Oh well. Maybe her secretary will tell her what I said."
"I'm thinking that the west doesn't like me because of my appearance. Image is a huge thing in politics and entertainment today. I think that is why Ross Perot and Dennis Kucinich were never elected President. Do you think that in today's superficial photo shopped world a man in a wheelchair could be elected President? I highly doubt it."
"President Obama made a beautiful speech in Cairo, offering to extend his outstretched hand of peace and friendship to the Muslim world. I'd love to meet with President Obama. I've offered to debate him many times. Perhaps that was too harsh, the wrong approach, talking about debates. I think that maybe I should have invited him for a chai latte at Starbucks, or a game of golf. I'm not bad. I'm getting there. I'm a 28."
"I'm thinking that people in the west don't like me because of my appearance. O.K. I'm not the best looking guy in the world, I get it. I'm short, what can I do? Maybe people don't like my beard, or my windbreaker. It's my golf outfit. Sometimes I don''t have time to put on a suit when rushing from the golf links to a meeting. It's windy in Iran. It's like Scotland, without the gorse. Instead we have sand, lots of sand. My sand game isn't bad. I love the flange on my new Cleveland sand wedge."
"President Obama says that we should focus on what we have in common and not dwell so much on our differences. I agree. We all want peace. Who doesn't want peace. Thank God Barack was elected President. That McCain was insane. He was going around to Town Hall meetings singing "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb bomb Iran." Who is he, Brian Wilson? How do you think that made us feel? The US is sitting with 25,000 100 megaton nuclear bombs and this lunatic is singing Beach Boy songs about annihilating our country. We freaked. Thank God for President Obama."
"Barack is an amazing guy. What were the odds after 9/11 and in the middle of two wars against Muslim countries of a black guy named Hussein, the son of a Muslim father, raised and educated in Muslim Indonesia, becoming President of the United States of America? My camel "shnoozie" had a better chance of winning the Breeders Classic. What happened to Rachel Alexandra? Maybe Zenyatta should have been Horse of the year last year but hindsight is 20/20."
"So I'm on the fifth hole and I've got a dogleg left and I'm thinking that now would be a great time for some extreme pro nation to cut the dogleg. I really need to get my right hand moving past my left hand and turning over my right hand to get my right palm facing the ground, to get my club head whistling through the ball, and while I'm thinking about golf pro nation I'm thinking that this guy offered his hand in peace, won the Nobel Peace Prize coming out of the gate and I'm thinking there must be a way to get a sit down with this guy, so I think to myself, how about a round of golf? We can share a cart together. What's the big deal? He's worried about my nuclear program, I'll scrap it for a box of ProV1xs. Who needs nukes? They're such a waste of money, so bad for the environment. Are my troops occupying your next door neighbor? Why are you worried? We're freaking. O.K. Everybody please join me in a little song."
"Everybody, hold hands with the person beside you. 1, 2, 3:
Imagine there's no countries, It isn't hard to do, nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too, Imagine all the people, living life in peace; You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one, I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one."

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[zaqura1001]

Washington Post, Sep19,2011

Karim Sadjadpour: The media circus generated by Ahmadinejad’s annual visit to the UN, questions are culled from Iranian don’t have a chance to query the president directly

16) Ali Vakili Rad, who was convicted by the French in 1991 for brutal stabbing death of 77-year-old Iranian democracy activist Shapour Bakhtiar in Paris, was given an official hero’s welcome at the Tehran airport upon his release from prison last year. Why does your government glorify assassins?

[zaqura1001]

Washington Post, Sep19,2011

Karim Sadjadpour: The media circus generated by Ahmadinejad’s annual visit to the UN, questions are culled from Iranian don’t have a chance to query the president directly

15) During your presidency Iran has had the highest per capita execution rate in the world, including recent public executions and executions of people accused of being homosexual. Are you proud of this record?

[zaqura1001]

Washington Post, Sep19,2011

Karim Sadjadpour: The media circus generated by Ahmadinejad’s annual visit to the UN, questions are culled from Iranian don’t have a chance to query the president directly

14) In leaked diplomatic cables, a senior Iraqi tribal leader asserted that your government has provided him and other Iraqi officials “short-term marriages” with Iranian women in order to garner influence. Does Iran use prostitution as a form of statecraft?

[zaqura1001]

Washington Post, Sep19,2011

Karim Sadjadpour: The media circus generated by Ahmadinejad’s annual visit to the UN, questions are culled from Iranian don’t have a chance to query the president directly

13) The anti-government protests in Iran on June 15, 2009, were significantly larger than any protests in the Middle East this year, yet you referred to the protesters as “dust and dirt.” Do you regret using that term?

[zaqura1001]

Washington Post, Sep19,2011

Karim Sadjadpour: The media circus generated by Ahmadinejad’s annual visit to the UN, questions are culled from Iranian don’t have a chance to query the president directly

12) Iran’s closest ally, Syria, has brutally killed more than 2,600 citizens this year,including children who were protesting for greater political freedoms. How do you reconcile your country’s close friendship with Bashar al-Assad’s regime, given your claim to stand for justice and the oppressed?

[zaqura1001]

Washington Post, Sep19,2011

Karim Sadjadpour: The media circus generated by Ahmadinejad’s annual visit to the UN, questions are culled from Iranian don’t have a chance to query the president directly

11) NGO's, including Transparency International, Freedom House & World Bank, said that Iran’s rates of corruption, economic malaise and repression during your tenure are higher than those of Hosni Mubarak’s Egypt and Zine el-Abidine Ben Ali’s Tunisia. Are you confident you won’t share their fate?

[buisyman]

Who gives a flying fuck? If I were to get near him, I'd kill him with my own hands.

[TheWaseemasghar]

marhaba.............

may ALLAH bless him

[brendastube1]

@almaochoaz I'm Mexican dating Persian =) good combo

[almaochoaz]

I think I will bee happy to meet my Iranian family // I'm Mexican mother and Persian father and wish I could have time a meet my others

[almaochoaz]

Well I'm Mexican and Persian and I would love to go to Iran one day :-) and meet my other family

[omgproducers2]

A very interesting piece.