Horrible Hymns 1

Hey Christians? Do you like singing about what filthy rags you are in the eyes of Jeebus? Filthy rags are just so yesterday! Try singing this at your next service! Inspired by the insane condemnatory blusterings of James the Preacher (exposingthecults) It will confirm what a cankerous growth you really are in the groin of Yaweh.

Category:

Education

Tags:

• exposingthecults
• james
• the
• preacher
• lyman
• christian
• fundie
• creationist
• arsehole
• loser
• loonie
• child
• abuse
• ear

[TheraminTrees]

Brilliant stuff Auntie. These old hymns remind me of all those victim songs so popular in the 60s/70s — opting out of adulthood, and begging to be emotionally cosseted like a baby. The level you take it to highlights the absurdity of those old hymns beautifully.

[AuntieDiluvian]

@TheraminTrees Thank you :)

[ozmoroid]

Ha ha ha. Thumb'd 'n fav'd. Does James just randomly modulate his voice? He really is a pustule on Jeebus's arse. "I'm a tapeworm in God's intestine" was my favorite line. Is that Madeline on the 2nd voice?

[AuntieDiluvian]

@ozmoroid Nah - just her old Ma. I think she would have refused to sing the 'scrotum' part. :)

[DeistPaladin]

Wow, James the Preacher was singing a "polytonal" hymn like the kind I studied in contemporary music theory ...except that the polytonality I studied was on purpose.

[AuntieDiluvian]

@DeistPaladin LOL

[bikeridingpinko]

holy crap. that first part really sucked. i aint religious but i can listen to a good hymn or some inspirational gospel... I wouldn't go out of my way or anything, but you know... i mean, im human right, so i like music.... but what the hell was that... my ears are bleeding...

[a2zdiy]

YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAA! Now THAT is some toe-tappin' good grovelin' there Auntie - I'll bet Jeebus will be favorably impressed... I know I am!

:)

[billzybobb]

"...please consider consigning..." You Da woman, Auntie. He should consider consigning his god too. I'd love to burn that, mutha fucka. Excuse my language.

[8698gil]

That hymn at the beginning reminded of the godawful organ music and singing in church when I was a kid. When my father died, I made all the funeral arrangements, including the service. The minister said, "I noticed you don't have much for hymns in the service. Would you like to have more?" I said, "No, actually I'd rather have less". He laughed and said I was honest. I'm an atheist, but my Dad would have wanted a religious service, so I had one for him.

[dingodavid]

Christians...They cut you, and then try to sell you a bandage to stop the bleeding.

[ciaochowbella]

@AuntieDiluvian Long time no see Auntie.

Holy shit......and I mean that literally. This is some really shit singing. Thanks for sharing!

[George4943]

"A splinter in his wood." Just imagine!

[TheLivingDinosaur]

This was just too fucking awesome. Thanks for making it Roz. Made my day!

[debbieomi]

I'm so glad I wasn't eating when I clicked on this!!

Hope life is treating you well down there. :-)

[Underlings]

2. Each nasty little hornet,

Each beastly little squid--

Who made the spikey urchin?

Who made the sharks? He did!

All things scabbed and ulcerous,

All pox both great and small,

Putrid, foul and gangrenous,

The Lord God made them all.

Amen."

[Underlings]

1. Nice! Have you heard the Monty Python version? "All things dull and ugly, All creatures short and squat, All things rude and nasty, The Lord God made the lot. Each little snake that poisons, Each little wasp that stings, He made their brutish venom. He made their horrid wings. All things sick and cancerous, All evil great and small, All things foul and dangerous, The Lord God made them all. (cont.)