The Bantam Cock - Jake Thackray

More Jake!

This is a song about a cock with a high sex drive.

He even fakes death to attract the hens!

Here are the words, courtesy of jakethackray.com:

It was a grand upstanding bantam cock,
So brisk and stiff and spry,
With springy step and jaunty plume
And a purposeful look in his eye,
In his little black blinking eye, he had.

I took him to the coop and introduced him
To my seventeen wide-eyed hens.
He tupped and he tupped as a hero tups
And he bowed from the waist to them all, and then
He upped and he tupped 'em all again, he did.

And then upon the peace of me ducks and me geese
He rudely did intrude.
With glazed eyes and open mouths
They bore it all with fortitude
And a little bit of gratitude, they did.

He jumped my giggling guinea fowl
And forced his attentions upon
My twenty hysterical turkeys and
A visiting migrant swan.
But the bantam thundered on, he did.

He ravished my fan-tailed pigeons and
Me lily-white columbines,
And while I was locking up the budgerigar
He jumped my parrot from behind;
She was sitting on me shoulder at the time.

And all of a sudden with a gasp and a gulp
He clapped his hands to his head,
Fell flat on his back with his toes in the air.
My bantam cock lay dead
And the vultures circled overhead, they did.

What a champion brute; what a noble cock;
What a way to live and to die.
I was digging him a grave to save his bones
From the hungry buzzards in the sky
When the bantam opened up a sly little eye.

He gave me a grin and a terrible wink,
The way that rapists do.
He said, "You see them big daft buggers up there?
They'll be down in a minute or two;
They'll be down in a minute or two".

Category:

Music

Tags:

• The
• Bantam
• Cock
• Jake
• Thackray
• cocks
• hens
• birds
• comedy

[Lansdownekid]

One of my favourite song writers Paul, I always thought he was a Geordie, till I done some research and found out he was from Leeds.

Thanks for posting Bud! :-)

[Gangly1]

@Lansdownekid

Cheers Harry.

Cracking songwriter.

The humour is right up my street.

I can't say the same for the "wordsmithness!"

[13crickets]

Ha! Very entertaining. I had a bantam rooster when I was a child, The Captain. He regularly spurred my legs as I would attempt to collect eggs from under members of his harem. He was territorial, feisty, and ruthless. I delighted in coercing friends to help collect the eggs knowing quite well that they would soon be squealing in terror as he delivered his assault. Ha ha ha ha.... thanks for the great memory. Long live the Captain!!

Pura Vida!!

Ron

[Gangly1]

@13crickets

Excellent tale Ron.

This will ring some bells then!

They have an insatiable appetite for sex and general bother.

Regards,

Paul

[sammu5]

Well....what can I say! Cluck...cluck...

That's a very clever cockerel!

Nice singing Paul!

Thumbs up and best wishes,

sam :-D

[Gangly1]

@sammu5

If only I could sing like this.

I am just posting some originals to slideshows.

"Softening you up" for my own version of one of his songs, together with my dulcet Yorkshire tones!

How did you get on with YTO?

TC

Paul

[elixirix]

true genius at work

[JakeThackrayLover]

LOVE THIS <3

[van1976]

Yes....I know this is in "English", but after spending the better the better part of today (and night) at "Jacob Wirth" Restaurant (landmark) in Boston with this Scottish/ Irish guy from Yorkshire......I was having trouble understanding his "English"...plus we were having a couple. Bring it on "Jake"...

5*

--Van

[carvetop01]

Clever!!

[AndanteLargo]

Hilarious! Thanks Paul!

I wish you a Merry Christmas and a musical 2011!

Per-Olov

[Gangly1]

@DavetheIV

Cheers Dave. I will be putting up a few of his originals...before I post one of my own.

A "softening-up" process for those that don't know this great man.

It seems to be working, from what I read.

I may have shot myself in the foot here!!

Keep well my friend.

Paul

[Gangly1]

@josie2u2

Thanks Josie. I am glad you like this old style humour.

It tickles me to bits!

More to come.

TC

Paul