The Morning After

I woke up with this parody mostly formed on 11/1.

Twas the morning after Halloween and all through the house
Candy wrappers were strewn, even some in my blouse
The costumes were found hanging here and there
Obviously showing that no one did care.

The children were clutching their stomachs in bed
With visions of Pepto clear in their head.
With Russ buck naked and I in my sweats
We had just spent the night in total torments

When down in my stomach there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter
Away to the bathroom I flew like a flash
Almost like running a 20-yard dash.

I pulled down my pants and had barely sat down
When my butt let out a terrible sound
I tried not to look, was afraid what Id see
For there in the bowl was a pile of misery

With a color like that, so green and black
I knew that it was a candy attack
More rapid than eagles the poo did flame
And I cried and shouted and called them by name.

Now Snickers, now Blow Pops, now Reeses and Hersheys.
On Kit Kat, on Twix, on Whoppers and Smarties
To the bottom of the bowl to the depths of the sewer
Now dash away, Dash away! Dash away manure!!!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the rim of the toilet they flew,
With a squirm and a wiggle I could feel my own poo.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
Squirrels! I cursed, and was headed down,
They came in thru the sewer vent, oh what a sound.

They were dressed all in fur, from head to foot,
They were covered in poo, cuz it sure wasnt soot.
A bundle of toilet paper was on ones back
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his face oh how hairy!
His cheeks were all puffy, his nose was so scary!
His fierce little mouth was drawn into a frown,
And the beard of his chin was brown brown brown.

The stump of a turd he held tight in his teeth,
And the smell it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a black face and a little round belly,
That shook when he walked, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right crabby old elf,
And I screamed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He climbed up the curtains and there he did lurk
His fellow squirrels joined him, up the curtains they rose
And giving a nod, they threw poo at my nose.

They sprang to the couch, then onto the floor
I hoped they would soon head for the door
But I knew my house would neer be the same
The smell might come out, but never the shame

So the lesson my friend, the one you must learn
If you have candy, the squirrels never spurn
Share freely with them, when you come home for the night
Or you just might suffer my sad sad plight.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Poetry
• Halloween
• RiddleSpider

[GRANDOVERLORD77]

No, I just figured you must be tired by the way youve been running through my mind ;)

[RiddleSpider]

@GRANDOVERLORD77 ah, aren't you the funny one! :) You would think my legs would be toned from all that running.

[GRANDOVERLORD77]

Say are you tired?

[RiddleSpider]

Why? Do I look tired? Or do I just make you want to go to sleep? :)

[TheAposlSF]

wow mo! good one!

~Samar

[RiddleSpider]

Thanks!

[RiddleSpider]

That is high praise coming from you Sir! I am glad you liked it no matter when you saw it.

[Sugartalker]

LOL! That was very VERY well done!! I'm glad I came to see this. Sorry I'm late :)

[RiddleSpider]

LORI!!! Glad you liked it :) I woke up with it mostly written in my head, just needed a little bit of thought and it was all done. It works like that sometimes.

Happy New Year pretty lady!

[LAArtGallery]

OMG MO - This is absolutely unbelievable, you made this?? How talented you are, and will definitely be showing this to the boys and saving in favs'. :) Tooo funny! You need to do a book!!!! Happy New Year to you and yours!