Aspergers, Honesty & Lying

Anyone you ask will tell you that I'm pretty brutally honest. Always have been. One of the things people will first tell you about me. Don't ask me what I think unless you really want to know, because I'll tell you.
Before I was diagnosed I didn't know that this was wrong. I thought it was good to be honest with people, that even if it's not a nice thing to hear it's better than being lied to. But now I've been diagnosed I've read that sometimes a lie is better.
I don't know why -- I'd always prefer to hear the truth. In fact, knowing that people do lie I have to always press people to make sure they're telling the truth. "But what do you really think?"
So I'm really bad at lying. It doesn't feel nice. I know it's the right thing, telling someone they look really good when maybe they look a little rough, something like that. I'm lucky I live amongst actually attractive people, I don't have to lie when I tell someone they look pretty, they actually are. My whole family seem to have gotten good genes, don't know where I went wrong!
But beyond that, I think you have to lie to protect people's feelings. I don't really understand this, and thinking about it now it's very muddled in my head, but when people say stuff like "Oh, well he can't have really meant that" and you know, well maybe they did, but you know if you say that then it'll really hurt the person and cause drama all round, you have to say that no, they can't have meant that.
I'm a terrible person if you gossip to me, because I can't keep a secret because of this honesty business. If someone says something about someone and then someone else asks me about it I'll probably tell them. It's like there's a filter missing, it's only afterwards that I realise, oh, maybe I shouldn't have told them that.
I think a lot of having Asperger's and successfully dealing with it is learning to put up those barriers and filters. I think a lot of what I say is very... unscripted and unthought out. It's honest and it's what I really think and while that sounds ideal in practise, in reality it can be hurtful or confusing for people. People can react badly to it.
Oddly though, I can be very sarcastic. I think it's sort of a defence mechanism. I've learnt to say what I mean without really saying it, in such a way people think it's a bit cleverer and wittier than actually just saying it. And of course, Asperger's lends itself to perfect poker faces.
I guess what I'm saying is for me, Asperger's and honesty go hand in hand. If you want an honest opinion, ask an Aspie and you'll definitely get one. But you have to promise not to get cross afterwards.

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[StomperReed]

That hair is sweeet!

[undeadpoe]

@StomperReed Thank you. :)

[russellprophet]

@undeadpoe As a fellow aspie, I find that I don't lie because I think that the world would be a much better place if you could believe everything that everybody said. Imagine that.

[undeadpoe]

@russellprophet That'd be nice. x

[SeniorTapster]

It is funny that you say what you say is unscripted but yet that statement was scripted :)

[moscowmasha]

This is quite true of me, as well! I hate that awkward moment when someone asks me what I think, and I KNOW that I should respond with some sort of platitude, yet my brain prevents me from doing so immediately. Sometimes people don't notice, but at other times, that moment of doubt is pretty uncomfortable.

[republicofsandles]

I find having Asperger's, requires me to be honest when asked a question.

I also find it nearly impossible to block introspection, even when it relates to some of my less flattering attributes.

I try to avoid lying to people by keeping secrets.

I've found keeping these secrets, like my youtube account, to be very draining and conflicting situations.

Since I've left school, my family home, and been diagnosed with Asperger's, I've felt secure enough to divulge long held secrets to my peers.

[EdEditz]

I'm quite the opposite mostly. I tell people what I think they want to hear and it's usually not what I really think at all. It's a form of conflict avoidance although it can backfire and cause even worse conflicts. I often don't remember what I said in the first place and it confuses the hell out of people. So I mostly just keep quiet. Much safer that way :)