Cooking with Yahweh

What can I say? Here's my take on perhaps the weirdest chapter in the Bible.
Ezekiel 4:1-15 (Yes, that's the CONTEXT, OUT OF which I made this video)

Looking at the finished product here - I think this time I may have gone too far. This video is f***ing BATTY. But then, I think, that must mean I've done a pretty good re-make of the original, coz that's friggin insane too.

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EZEKIEL CH 4:

Now, son of man, take a block of clay, put it
in front of you and draw the city of Jerusalem
on it. 2Then lay siege to it: Erect siege works
against it, build a ramp up to it, set up camps
against it and put battering rams around it. 3Then
take an iron pan, place it as an iron wall between
you and the city and turn your face toward it. It
will be under siege, and you shall besiege it. This
will be a sign to the house of Israel.
4Then lie on your left side and put the sin of
the house of Israel upon yourself. c You are to bear
their sin for the number of days you lie on your
side. 5I have assigned you the same number of
days as the years of their sin. So for 390 days you
will bear the sin of the house of Israel.
6After you have finished this, lie down again,
this time on your right side, and bear the sin of
the house of Judah. I have assigned you 40 days,
a day for each year. 7Turn your face toward the
siege of Jerusalem and with bared arm prophesy
against her. 8I will tie you up with ropes so that
you cannot turn from one side to the other until
you have finished the days of your siege.
9Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils,
millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use
them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it
during the 390 days you lie on your side. 10Weigh
out twenty shekels of food to eat each day and
eat it at set times. 11Also measure out a sixth of a
hin of water and drink it at set times. 12Eat the
food as you would a loaf of barley bread; bake it
in the sight of the people, using human excrement
for fuel. 13The LORD said, In this way the people
of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations
where I will drive them.
14Then I said, Not so, Sovereign LORD! I have
never defiled myself. From my youth until now I
have never eaten anything found dead or torn by
wild animals. No impure meat has ever entered
my mouth.
15Very well, he said, I will let you bake
your bread over cow dung instead of human excrement".

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[spehizle]

Know what's funny? There are Christians right now trying to argue how this is sane.

[StMattofDurham]

@ajazinggirl If you're offended by what's in the Bible, then you have a problem with God, not NonStampCollector. You may not like these videos, but they are thoroughly based on the Bible. NonStampCollector is mainly just showing you what you actually believe in when you say you believe in the Bible. Maybe you should actually read it first before mindlessly clicking on the "I Agree" button.

[mocktheweekfan92]

@cr4yv3n no thats spouting shit

[cr4yv3n]

eating shit...isn't that what christians do anyway when trying to prove their religion?

[umidontno040394]

cow shit actually would be alot better. its no where near as dangerous as human shit. and it burns quite well. it also keeps away insects very well.

[deadshot1995]

@raywingfield Lol good to know

[raywingfield]

@deadshot1995 both :)

[deadshot1995]

@raywingfield Are you kidding or on crack?

[raywingfield]

Repent sinners, I can easily explain this. In the olden days human excrement was considered sacred. This is why today at the zoo, gorillas will throw their poopoo at you. It is because they love you and want to share that love. Like that God commanded humans to also throw their caca at each other as a sign of devotion and obedience to our Lord and Savior. This is why throughout the Bible we repeatedly here the stories of 'The Shit Hitting the Fan'

[MrXenetics]

Ezekiel: (Constantly snickering while writing the chapter of "Ezekiel")

Follower: "You're such a dick.."

Ezekiel: "Stfu, this is hilarious. Trollololol"

[MsXanatrix]

About the HUMAN shit (instead of cow feces): if he`s lying there all alone, and there IS no cow... Well, it`s the only avaible fuel

[MsXanatrix]

@inyinyd : And on top of that it even was often the only avaiable combustible material for cooking, because as the hebrews were living in the steppe, there werent that much trees.