A big thanks first of all to guineapigdan for volunteering to illustrate this and a mighty fine job he did.
Next, thanks to all of the lyrical contributions and if I overlooked anyone in the credits, let me know. I went back 3 months looking in msgs and may have overlooked someone.
Here are the lyrics. Enjoy!
Twas the night before Armageddon and all through the house
Every creature was celebrating, even the mouse.
Autographed pictures of televangelists hung
By the chimney while dreary end times songs were sung.
"It's the end, it's the end!" Tapley cried out with glee,
As he banged on his keyboard and sang out of key.
He put his own lyrics to old Christmas tunes
But what did he care? T'would all be over soon.
The night sky seethed with mysterious form
Apparently brewing one hell of a storm.
Mr. Tapley sang louder, his face turning red
While visions of antichrist danced in his head.
"It's prophesied!" Tapley sang out with joy
While banging the keys of his musical toy.
Then he switched off his synth, his singing complete
And lit a few candles and then took a seat.
He opened his bible and unzipped his pants.
His eyes were now shut as if under some trance.
Suddenly he engaged in frantic masturbation
With his bible propped open to the book of Revelation!
With a hand on his rod and a thumb up his rear,
Mr. Tapley could tell that the end was quite near.
So he searched through the scriptures by dim candle light
And throttled his poultry on into the night.
When outside the house there arose such a clatter
Giant peals of loud thunder made Tapley's teeth chatter.
His chair started bouncing, the whole house shook
He postponed his pud-pounding to go have a look.
Through the window he watched while bright flashes of light
Carved insidious shadows forged from pure fright.
Then suddenly he noticed right there on the grounds
A massive sleigh pulled by vicious hellhounds.
With an impish driver so dark and so quick,
Tapley knew right away that it must be Old Nick!
His dog-demons howled and snapped at the air
Old Nick cracked a whip and yelled out with a swear,
"God dammit,Abaddon, and Satyr and Geryon!
Abigor, Nergal, Samaael and Legion!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now slash away! Kill away! Destroy them all!"
So, up to the housetop the hellhounds flew
With a sleigh full of suffering, and tribulations, too.
On the roof Tapley heard as they strained at their leash,
The scratching and clawing of Lucifer's beasts.
But before Mr. Tapley could get turned around
Down the chimney crept Satan with hardly a sound.
His breath smelled of brimstone, his eyes were ablaze
And he stared right at Tapley for what might have been days.
His face was thin and sunken in
And a two-pronged beard crept across his pointy chin
Behind his thin lips were fangs of yellow
Mr. Tapley grew faint to see such a fellow.
With nipple clamps, leather and boots of some size,
He sported tattoos spreading over both thighs.
A mask with a zipper, with holes for his horns,
And a gimp for a pet, who's hair had been shorn.
At his feet scurried four grotesque demonesque creatures
With faces erased and devoid of all features.
Nearby a black sack labeled six sixty six
Was writhing and churning making Tapley quiet sick.
With a sudden whip crack the demons made their attack
And poor Mr. Tapley was soon flat on his back.
Held firmly in place, each demon took a seat,
One on each hand and two on his feet.
Satan spoke not a word but went straight to his work
And flung open his blasphemous bag with a jerk.
The sack spilled open and nightmares oozed out.
That the end had now come, Tapley had not a doubt.
Crusty crab creatures with fish hooks for arms
Swarmed over Tapley and showed him their charms,
Rusty hooks tearing his flesh while he screamed
And like a proud father satan looked on and beamed.
A thousand more terrors slinked toward Mr. Tapley
To get more acquainted to put it quite aptly.
Some inched up his legs and some up his nose.
Some crawled in his ears and played tiny banjoes.
Then out from the sack crawled a thing so obscene
Tapley grew nauseated and tossed his cuisine.
Its skin open sores and on its head like a spire
Grew a penis shaped horn wrapped in prickly barbed wire.
Without advanced notice, it rammed Tapley hard
And shredded his trousers with blatant disregard.
Tapley screamed and cried "Please don't, don't stop!"
Making satan's eyes bulge and his bearded jaw drop.
In disgust satan yelled out, "That's it, I quit!
I can't believe Tapley's enjoying this shit!"
So taking his toys and his demon friends too,
Satan flipped him the bird and up the chimney they flew.
On the roof Tapley heard the hellish team taking flight
To spread wicked evils and propagate blight.
But he heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Armageddon to all -- except for YOU Mr. Tapley! AH hahahahaha!"
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7:43
Jesus: Hebrew Human or Mythical Messiah? Part 1by TruthSurge7,957 views
I can't believe it took me until now to see this. shuh,weet! ; )
yeshuahfullofit 2 months ago
@yeshuahfullofit yes, it's a hidden little jewel! hahah hidden waaaay back down in me old uploads. thanks!
TruthSurge 2 months ago
poor mr. taply he just wanted a little torrter
nathancover696969 3 months ago
@nathancover696969 hehehe he got a LITTLE but he was crazier than satan was! hehehe
TruthSurge 3 months ago
absolutly brilliant.
bonnie43uk 6 months ago
@bonnie43uk thanks! :)
TruthSurge 6 months ago