December-holy crap!

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People & Blogs

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• life
• anxiety
• panic
• december
• sunnydays

[SirReptitious]

@thelexietaylor I think so too. I especially like the way she pronounces "been" as "bean". I guess it's a Canadian thing, but wherever it comes from, its really cute. ;-)

[justagurl23]

@77tubuck ah okay. so i DO say it right, and everyone else says it wrong haha that would be like the word week, you don't say it wik, right? lol yeah..there are a lot of words that are different between the US and Canada and even just the different areas, pronunciation and spelling wise. makes no sense lol guess we can't all be the same though

[merelyme02]

@justagurl23 I think you are bang on. You can't heal, ever, when denying what you actually experience. Often, when traumatised, we are alone; no one sees it. So we don't talk about it because of shame or guilt or because we think it was our fault. What we need to do most is disclose but can't because we don't feel it's safe, we fear we will not be believed because only we know about it. So we try to "bury it", "forget it" "suck it up" and we don't heal and thus live a painful life.

[justagurl23]

@merelyme02 i am not sure if he saw your comment since i blocked him. i was really tired of the comments. but i do love how someone claiming to be a doctor says that kind of thing. and he wonders WHY i get upset and 'lash out' when i am told such things? probably because it makes me feel like what i've gone through means nothing, and i'm supposed to forget it, suck it up, and not talk about how i feel, which would be harmful to my healing actually.

[merelyme02]

@Azbill001 Let me quote a TRUE expert on PTSD: Judith Hermam, Clinical Professor of Psychiartry at Harvard Medical School and Director of Training at the Victims of Violence Program at Cambridge Hospital. She UNEQUIVOCALLY states, "the first principle of recovery is the empowerment of the survivor. She MUST be the author and arbiter of her own recovery." When you tell others what they should do, you're replicating the nature of abuse:dis-empowerment! You're re traumatising the victim!

[justagurl23]

@Azbill001 well, i suppose i could 'get used to it' if it wasn't actually so severe for me at times. you are ignorant to say something like that. no, i don't think i'm 'special' or unique JUST because i struggle, but the majority of people i know actually don't struggle with the things i do/have, so you are no better than the ignorant people who say 'get over it.' i'm glad you don't understand the degree i have struggled because i'd never wish it on anyone even if your ignorance irritates me.

[Azbill001]

@justagurl23 Life is a constant struggle for everyone Ashley. Get used to it!

[Azbill001]

@justagurl23 You're right Ashley. All I know is what you have decided to tell us about your life but after 5+ years almost anyone trained in medicine or human behavior can see the contradictions you present. I notice you lash out at anyone who suggests anything other than what you want to hear so best we stop this communication because it is going nowhere. Honesty with one's self is a key to recovery.. Good luck!

[justagurl23]

@Azbill001 as for your comment about how you 'think' i'd 'want' to move forward by setting goals, how do you KNOW what i do as far as that? also, you aren't my psychiatrist, so you haven't known me personally like she has. i don't know what kind of 'doctor' you are, so i don't know what to even say about that, but just because you are doesn't mean you know everything based on who you have worked with. not everyone is the same. you putting expectations on MY recovery is ridiculous.

[justagurl23]

@Azbill001 yeah, but how do you expect someone to just get better and never struggle again? that's the assumption i make by the things you are saying. i do make steps forward, they just aren't always documented on here and aren't what others expect from me, so no one actually knows 100% what i do in my life to be able to even make judgments. yes, i struggle. i'm not perfect. i know i can only change me. i don't expect anyone else to. why would i? it's not their life. (continued)

[Azbill001]

@justagurl23 You definitely have that interpretation wrong Ashley. Struggling is like treading water...you don't get anywhere but wear yourself out. Better to set a course of recovery and no matter how hard follow it. I know you have serious issues and don't minimize them but after years of struggling I would think you would want to move forward by setting recovery goals for yourself. The world and the problems you face with always be there. You can only change you.

[Azbill001]

@justagurl23 Ashley, I've watched you for a long time and you have made progress and you are an inspiration to those who are just recognizing their illness. However for you to get really well you need to associate with people farther along in their recovery than you are so you can learn from them and perhaps use them as your mentors. I can't think of a time when you started to associate with a group and almost immediately resign from the group for reasons unknown to most of us.