My Holter Monitor Comes Off After 48 Frickin' Hours!

Monologue:

"Alright, yes indeed ladies and gentlemen, remember this, my holter monitor? It is now past 48 hours! It is now time for me to take it off!!!! Freedom, sweet freedom, I am now free of this shit following me around for 48 frickin' hours!

Since my doctor's office is closed today, I'm going to take it out myself! Let's see how this is going to go. (Don't get to excited ladies...relax!) Alright, I've got to puill all this shit out of here! It's probably going to gurt a little bit. It's freedom! Let's see. Wait a minute. Ah, that wasn't too bad. Here's one! This one might be a bitch to take off! I've had this frickin' thing with all these wires follow me around for 48 frickin' hours! It's freedom baby! I AM FREE! Come on boy, let's go. Ahh! Oh, this one's going to hurt like a mother fucker! Two more to go and I'm free! Two more on this side overhere...oh yeah...It's a lot of hairs over there! Ee carai! Oh, this one's going to ee ee ee! I don't need all this damn hair on my chest! Two at once...two for the price of one!

I am now free! That's right. I am now free of my holter monitor, YEEEEEHAW!!!! (Ha ha ha ha ha!) Now I can Take a shower, yes, freedom to take a shower! (Ha ha ha ha ha!)"

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