Oberon Zell Ravenheart- Challenges of Polyamory

In this short, Oberon Zell Ravenheart discusses the challenges of polyamorous relationships. Oberon is a founding member of the Church of All Worlds, an author, teacher and respected elder in the Neo-Pagan community. He has been "polyamorous" for 40 years. His partner Morning Glory Zell Ravenheart first coined the term polyamory in her article "A Bouquet of Lovers" in Green Egg Magazine in 1990. This interview was recorded in 2002 at the Starwood Festival in Western NY.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• polyamory
• relationships
• Church
• of
• All
• Worlds
• Pagan
• Neo-Pagan
• Oberon
• Zell
• Ravenheart
• Heather
• Kyle

[HKyle1]

Sorry WolfeBear, I am not Oberon. I am the Anthropologist who conducted this interview.

[HKyle1]

You don't have to agree with everyone and no one is asking you to. There is absolutely no reason to be so hate filled. There's this little concept called "tolerance". Perhaps you'd like to look into it?

[HKyle1]

Knowledge is power. The point in posting these videos is not to convince anyone to do anything. It's about information. You are entitled to draw whatever conclusions you'd like and I appreciate you taking the time to watch and comment regardless. Polyamory is not for everyone that's for sure but knowing about it never hurt anyone.

[jin54363]

why so many dislikes?

[WolfeBear]

I wish i had been able to do this back in the 70's; I only had heinlein for a model all those years; then when it supposedly happened...well... let's just say ...it didn't work out. When I needed her suport after those five years she finally got moving - and left me and our son on the wayside. But she uses him to cotrol me, like a carrot before the donkey - and hasn't touched me or allow me to touch her in over four years. Too late now for any of it.

[WolfeBear]

It occurred to me I thought I might ask this: I AM talking ot Oberon; right? or am I spilling my guts to someone else???

[WolfeBear]

...she also gave a lot of good to me: seeing our child being born; and sharing developement in thewomb when he was there. He knew me after he was born. He took his arm out of the blanket and touched my face, and smiled. Him and I have been through a lot together, both good and bad.  If you have some e-mail or some place I may public access i will honor it, and try not to go off, if I can keep control. If a certain "someone" gets me too hot to control my self, I il try with everything I ...

[WolfeBear]

Thankyou. for your kind words. Her words over the last four years have been not so kind. To be honest I introduced that word: "polyamory" to her in 01 or 02 before we met. My understandinfg at the time wass it was a line marriage ASPECT; MY FAULT. To be honest I don't forget the good she brought me; the first bringing me out of a massive depression after loosing my best business ever after 9-11. She brought back a reason to live, literally. I never asked her to be other than herself.

[BelleNex]

@WolfeBear I am sorry she betrayed you and that you have faced such tragic events in your life. I will keep good thoughts for you and your son. She sounds like a person who made hurtful choices, and would have done so in a monogamous relationship also. People who hurt others exist in all cultures, faiths, and lifestyles. Keep the responsibility where it belongs, with the individual hurting people. I hope you find healing and success in life after this difficult time.

[WolfeBear]

ummm... can't seem to message privately from the contact given. i.e. here on yuoutube. admittedly i don't usually spend a lot of time on youtube. there are a few whom I have gotten a steady friendship with since the loss of limbs, but  I haven't noticed any changees that would prohibit hat. Do yoiu have some other page somewhere? facebook or somethng? I don't go to myspace any more; kinmda a blackhole for any kind of virus/tubeworm, or other slime from toxic websites.

[safehouse123]

@Oldwolf63 exactly

[safehouse123]

@WolfeBear I hear what you are saying. We must always be guided by love as strong as the Lord and Lady give us. If you would like to talk to me privately, please message me. May you find love and light in the most unexpected places. )()(

[WolfeBear]

@BelleNex : to me our lifestyle had deteriorated from all that; but the loveof familyis paaount to me. yes, we had one bad episode, butthat after 2 1/2 yrs of neglect offson and myself. Sh used it, and thigs wounmup in court, and she overwhelmd the court with her mouth, and i never said a word. It's beound thse point of makng up; I just want our son. she has provento me that hr ex's divorce charges were true: she is an unfit mother! you don't know her!! I am pagan. Love is the law; not just sex!

[WolfeBear]

@safehouse123 : thankyou. I became a double amputee, and had major heart surgery. She only showed affection when we were at dr's, or in the hospital. She did hold my hand after the heart surgery and kept me alive; but after she kept telling me in private to find another place to live. So much more of this. The bottom line is the feeling of betrayal she did to me; and it still goes on even after I moved out. she still bosses me around, and our son too. he wound up in mental hos. @ 7

[BelleNex]

Oberon Zell has some very strong points. Personally I am not wired right for a relationship of that nature. I fully support others who are able to live this way in honesty and love. I cant possibly see how having a parent in a healthy polyamorous relationship could hurt a child or children. I am more worried about children growing up in toxic marriages, abusive families, single parent without support or oppressive religious households.

[safehouse123]

@pansgrove i recall Oberon in my town...No mistaking him for someone else. Hope I meet him one day. :)

[safehouse123]

@obaeyens hes been polyamorous for nearly 4 decades...:)

[safehouse123]

@WolfeBear it isnt....

[safehouse123]

@Aptopdog352 have you proven that children are hurt? some ppl think children are damaged by hearing their monagamous parents having sex....Not confronting you...i just want to know if there is research proving your point.

[bKiwiD]

@Aptopdog352 I would hypothesize that a lot more kids' minds get fucked up by being raised in conventional family units where their parents don't question the (currently crazy) norm, than kids raised in families where the adults around them spend a lot of time thinking consciously about how best to care for multiple others, identify and articulate their own needs, and live as full a life as possible. Being psychologically 'normal' isn't the same thing as being psychologically healthy.

[bKiwiD]

@Aptopdog352 Is your "morality" is based on arbitrary (divine?) rules, or based on love for other people? If your morality is based on conforming to some fixed standard of 'Rules for Life', and non-monogamous relationships are against the rules you've picked, then I guess polyamory is amoral. But if your 'morality' is based on loving other people, then how can you object to relationships where people work hard to love as many people as they can as fully as they can?

[WolfeBear]

How about the man who devotes his lifeeto the woman and thechild they bore, and when he needs some emotinoal support from her she literaly gets up, turns her back on him and says after 5 years: "I'm gonna get a job!" wiht the full threat and initent of getting hiim oout of the bed and the home whil;e he's going throough loosing his legs, and major heart surgery??? how wiccan/poly is that???

[lyrestonehart]

Man, I love this guy. Oberon puts it all out there calmly and expressively. There's an example of a great teacher right there.

[Oldwolf63]

The whole point of consensual Polyamory is the creation of a loving family unit that make sure the kids are first and have someone at home instead of just 2 parents who are oftern working and not home you would have 3 or 4 parents who can share child care and provide a loving family home! (btw look at the Old Testerment!) Polyamory is about being happy and having a good Home life for the family !

[Oldwolf63]

The whole point of consensual Polyamory is the creation of a loving family unit that make sure the kids are first and have someone at home instead of just 2 parents who are oftern working and not home you would have 3 or 4 parents who can share child care and provide a loving family home!

[desdes24]

do u all believe they are wizards and witch? oberon zell has a school of wizardry but i dun kno wether he teaches real wizardry well u all kno wat wizards do. they hav magic powers tat can shoot fireballs,summon ghosts. im tinkin if hes a wizard can he do it? he said they teach philosopy and history and those things its no different from a school teacher if he teach those (no offence) jus curious