In the description of the video "staring at a face -- an old technique against social anxiety" I pointed out that rejection through others is mostly the reason for social anxiety (social phobia). But after all research in psychology, rejection through others, the anxiety to be rejected and the anxiety to show signs of rejection, seems to have the strongest impact for the development of all mental and behavioural disorders. So the core problem seems to be found in interpersonal communication.
It is not so easy to determine the individual reason for rejection, but it is always the difference between the perceived characteristics of a person and the desired expected characteristics of the communication partner. For example: It could be very traumatic, if you begin a talk with an other person, who seems to be friendly interested in you, but if you say that you are unemployed, he/she shows signs of being confused and finally signs of rejection like contempt, disgust and/or anger. Strongly rejected persons shut down after negative experiences the perception (Lacey, 1967; Erdelyi & Appelbaum, 1973) of facial expressions by others already when they detect signs of confusion in order to perceive no deepest rejection like disgust. But in this case they stay in a state of confusion, anxiety and phobia and finally depression, where they have great problems to communicate with others and can not cope with the demands of everyday life.
Some new research pointed out that shifting attention away from facial expressions of disgust can reduce social phobia in a great manner (Amir et al., 2009). This technique is much more efficient than Exposure Therapy. Please see the description of the video: 'Attention Modification Program improved -- AMPi '
In Exposure Therapy subjects are confronted with their fears and discontinue their escape response (i.e. here: shutting down perception). Now here you can see a woman making facial expressions of a combination of anger, contempt and disgust. Please keep in mind that this woman is artificial. In Exposure Therapy it is important that you sustain the feelings of discomfort, but after a while and some expositions your fears usually get away. Please look first between the eyes and after a while you can let go your gaze a round and finally look at the video with relaxed eyes (where eyes are not converged, but stand parallel).
Then you can think about your usual thinking, feeling and behaviour, when you see signs of confusion or signs of anger, contempt and/or disgust in the face of your vis-à-vis. Sometimes it helps to speak out loudly your experience. Maybe finally you can say to yourself: "It doesn't matter to me, when you reject me, you have only expectations that I can not full fill. So we do not match. That's all. I'm OK, You're OK! I wish you good luck and God bless you." (This point of view has a lot in common with the so called "Transactional Analysis" of Eric Berne and the "Interpersonal Psychotherapy" derived from the work of Harry Stack Sullivan).
Please imagine, what could be better if you get attuned to anger, contempt and disgust in the face of your vis-à-vis. Surely you will not have so much fears anymore. And if you getting more self-confident by this way it is less likely that people getting confused when they see you.
If you look the video, please switch off the ton (because of a technical problem that occurs in my software).
P.S.: I think that rejection often occurs because of too many, too fast and too large head movements. Not only people with low attractiveness have here problems but also people with high attractiveness have here problems. The reason for this circumstance is the effort of a communication partner: When the head stands still a detection of relevant facail features like expressions can be done with low effort, but if the head is moving a detection of relevant features must be done with high effort, which is straining and sometimes stressful. A method to be coming aware of your own head movements with the intention to reduce them is taping with a so called "Elastic therapeutic tape" (also commonly known as "Kinesiology Tape") in the neck.
Amir, N., Beard, C., Taylor, C., Klumpp, H., Elias, J., Burns, M. & Chen, X. (2009). Attention training in individuals with generalized social phobia: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 77, 961-973. doi:10.1037/a0016685
Erdelyi, M. H. & Appelbaum, G. A. (1973). Cognitiv masking: The distributive effect of an emotional stimulus upon perception of contiguous neutral items. Bulletin of Psychonomic Society, 1, 59-61.
Lacey, J. I. (1967). Somatic response patterning and stress: some revisions of activation theory. In M. H. Appley & R. Trumbull (Eds.), Psychological Stress (pp. 14 -36). New York: Appleton.
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Compassion and Deceitby UCDavis3,978 views
It is a good video though.
My point was really all emotion is just stimuli remembered and associated together throughout childhood.
I realize now why I've had such terrible nervousness in social situations in spite of having sound confident non-social-anxiety reasoning. I still had the conditioned response to the stimulus of the patterns in people's faces and tones. It doesn't help that my dad would get aggressive and emotional whenever he got mad & my mom is always worried and often sad.
sicktoaster 2 months ago
How do we know the real reason is "social anxiety"?
Even if people self-report what if people made up the reasons for their emotions in their head?
What if it is all just energy and has no meaning whatsoever and you have to embrace that truth to set yourself free?
It's like the song from Mumma Mia, Don't be a slave to your emotions...
sicktoaster 2 months ago
good job!!
moonblood2 11 months ago
extremely creepy
maniacablator 11 months ago