Dana Carvey - Scientology

Dana Carvey, the hilarious comedian rips into the absolute weirdness of the cult of scientology in this stand up comedy routine.

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• Scientology
• Dana Carvey
• humour
• jokes
• stand up comedy
• Xenu
• Tom Cruise
• fat tuesday
• Austin Bice
• dragon age 2
• John Travolta
• awesome
• fail

[dancar711]

You think Carvey's "Are you the lemon?" ritual is weird? In Scientology, there is a process where you are asked to walk over to a bottle in a room, touch it, state it's color and guess it's temperature. Then repeat for several hours. There another "Training Routine" where you shout at an ashtray on a chair to "STAND UP!" lift it a couple feet, shout "THANK YOU! SIT DOWN IN THAT CHAIR!" set it down again and shout "THANK YOU!" I'm not kidding, this is real.

[ttlyawesome444]

I think I am the lemon.

[nhlalwenhlezondo]

Turtle, turtle, lawls!

[sleez0]

9 disklikes, tom cruise

[zkxb]

Sounds good, Dana. See you next Tuesday at 2:30. I like pudding. Mmmmm, pudding.

[TheBlakearmstrong]

@Xenomorph1112 Oh and yes I'm an atheist. Which by the way is redundant. For instance people that lack belief in leprechauns are not aleprechaunists. They are rational. Same thing w/ lacking a belief in god. It does not make someone automatically an atheist. Just rational. I'm only an atheist b/c that's how theists choose to label me.

[TheBlakearmstrong]

@Xenomorph1112 I believe that when life ends my consciousness will end and that my body will begin the decomposition process i.e. I will become worm food. The thing is there is nothing to be afraid of with dying. As Mark Twain once said, "I was dead for millions of years before I was born and never suffered the slightest inconvenience from it." Basically, when you're dead you won't know you're dead so it's the end of suffering. I don't think there is evidence of afterlife or soul transcendence.

[Xenomorph1112]

@TheBlakearmstrong Am I right to assume that you're an atheist? If I may ask, what do you believe happens after life ends? (No, I'm not being a smart-ass or a defender of the faith; I'm just curious.)

[TheBlakearmstrong]

The irony of course is that a bunch of christians are probably laughing at this skit.

Like haha their beliefs are so much more ridiculous than my belief in the talking snake, burning bush, godman that walks on water, etc. Meanwhile, I'm outside the bubble of all manmade religions so I can say all the beliefs are ridiculous.

[spongeboy1985]

@ttlyawesome444 =1 if you read that like John Travolta

[lepunkdigitale1]

Dana, you legend.

[lepunkdigitale1]

@culwin And the tea pot!