JEWMONGOUS - They Tried To Kill Us (We Survived, Let's Eat)

JEWMONGOUS feat. Sean Altman. The fractured Passover story. http://www.jewmongous.com

THEY TRIED TO KILL US (WE SURVIVED, LET'S EAT)

We were slaves to pharaoh in Egypt
The year was 1492
Hitler had just invaded Poland
Madonna had just become a Jew
Moses was found on the Potomac
Then he marched with Martin Luther King
He came back to free us from our bondage
'Cause S&M has never been our thing

They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat
They tried to kill us, we were faster on our feet
So they chase us to the border
There's a parting of the water
Tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat

Then the Pharaoh, who looked like Yul Bruyner
Heard the Jews were trying to escape
Charlton Heston came right down from the mountain
He said, "Pharaoh, you're a damn dirty ape"
The menorah was almost out of oil
Farrakhan was planning Kristalnacht
The gefitle fish was nearing extinction
It looked like Moses and his flock were fehrkakt

They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat
They tried to kill us, we were faster on our feet
And we knew how to resist
'Cause we'd rented Schindler's List
Tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat

The 10 Egyptian plagues
1. Blood
2. Locusts
3. Boils
4. Dandruff
5. Acne
6. Backne
7. Indigestion
8. Sciatica
9. Cataracts
10. Sickle cell anemia

We fled on foot, there was no time to tarry
Leavening the bread would take too long
All we had was egg foo yung and matzoh
While battling the fearsome Viet Cong
And so tonight, we gather to remember
The ancient Hebrews who paid the price
We have a Seder, each year in December
To commemorate our savior, Jesus Christ

They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat
They tried to kill us, we were faster on our feet
So we never did succumb to the annual pogrom
Tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat

They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat
They tried to kill us, we were faster on our feet
So come on, blow the shofar
'Cause they haven't nailed us so far
Tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat

Category:

Comedy

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[GaurdDuck]

Jewish love= food

not kidding

[TheAngelofCaffeine]

I love it. I might do an acoustic cover sometime (with your permission, of course).

[TheBeanermarie]

Definitely a welcome addition to the songs we sing at the Seder. Love it!!! Thanks, Sean..

[israelmalka]

It makes me laugh every time ,though I'm not native english speaker. I'm from Israel.

:) Love this song.

[buddylove1477]

Saw you at Jacbob's ladder festival in Israel this past weekend. WE LOVED YOU!! Next time you have to do a longer set. PLEASE come back next year!!! Bring more CDs next time..

[doubletrouble467]

You so funny sean

[luciferin1]

I always listen to this song, when I am sad. :)

[Metoob18]

great!

[laistadevata]

absolutely brilliant! i'd give you six stars, but it only goes to five.

[kraftdinner93]

This is hilarious. Brilliant job!!! =D

[narayanr]

Let's eat!