The final installment of the epic Lord of the Rings rap trilogy.
Lyrics:
They ascended Cirith Ungol, the steps were damn steep
They were tired and weary and they'd run outta weed
Their lembas was low and Gollum framed sam
"go suck frodo's dick bitch, I don't give a damn"
Gollum led Frodo to a dark smelly cave
And left him all alone sayin bye wit a wave
Frodo conquered his fear, and then finally started
But the cave smelled like shit as if the gods had all farted
But he played it damn coo in shelob's lair
He goes "what's up baby girl, I like your hair
I like your body, you got some nice tits"
But shelob's a feminist she don't like that shit
She penetrated Frodo and let venom flow
"Bitch whatchu doin dis is my job you ho!" He goes
"I actually like it, you got a big sting sack"
Then he fell limp to be a meal for an arach
Sam killed the spider bitch and pissed on the body
"Damn it's a shame" he said "dat spider's a hottie"
Then he rescued Frodo from orcs in a towa
Hoverboards don't work on water unless you got power!
Gandalf rode off to aid the White City
Pippin went along cause gondor ho's gots big titties
But the lord steward denethors a right fucken cunt
So pippin fired up a beacon then lit up a blunt
The beacons summoned rohan, Theoden led the call
oaths you have taken now fulfill them all
Merry went with Eowyn disguised as a man
But lego gimli strider had a much better plan
The pretty white city was all in siege
Denethor fled his men, what a piss poor liege
It was lookin damn hopeless til the rohirrim came
And fought off orcs and oliphaunts, the witch king was slain
Not before a fell beast killed the king of rohan
Eowyn took her gat and goes "Bitch I am no man!"
The beast took nine shots like Curtis James Jackson
She shot the witch king in the face, and goes "take that son!"
Then Strider arrived with an army of dead
They kick ass on the field but they ain't no good in bed
Cause when legolas got horny and tried to fuck one
The blond elf's little dick went right fucken through um
They marched to their last battle at the black gates of mordor+
They didn't have much men and they knew they was done for
They were distracting the eye of that Samoan Sauron
When the orcs opened the gates Pippin set off a car bomb
The free folk were surrounded, they didn't have enough men
But they fought just as hard against the million and ten
Gat fire flowin, nobody knowin
what the fuck Frodo and Samwise be doin
They got AKs and RPGs, they gonna fuck up some orc beezies
Cause the free folk are too gangsta and sauron just are wanksta
Merry busted out his 9 then, and took out a couple of sand men
And Aragorn fought a big troll, who kinda looked like rosie o'donnel
Frodo and Sam made it up to Mount Doom
But Gollum followed them up in to the gloom
And he tried to take the ring, bit it off Frodo's hand
And then that skinny little midget fell into lava land
The free folk was dying in front of the gate
It looked like Sauron had da check mate but wait
Fifteen in the quiva and one in the bow
Legolas and Strider gonna fuck up orcs hos
The eagles are coming bitch! The eagles are comin!
Motha fucking nazgul better start runnin bitch
The eagles are coming! The Eagles are comin!
Motha fucking nazgul better start runnin.
The hobbits got rescued by the giant birdies
And asked them right away if they riding dirty
Thank fuck! Frodo said as they passed him a j
I haven't smoked dis shit in about 30 days
They flew to Gondor, with the hobbits in talons
And flew them to a party with beer in the gallons
Saurons dead! The orcs are all gone!
Frodo's got nine fingers but a record hobbit schlong
Strider became King of all da land
Then he laughed and said I am no man!
And he showed everyone what he had all along
He had a beaver, breasts, and balls but no fucken dong!
Tick tock in his drop top bounce to the bottom
It takes balls to be king so its lucky that he gots um
He bought a big ass nickel times a dime
Its about time blaze and listen to da lord of da fine rhyme
Tick tock in their drop top driven to the elf ships
Frodo left the world of men and hobbit shit
now he lives in paradise very nice women full of elf spice
pretty easy beezies roll da dice hope they don't got pubic lice that be nice
does this rap suffice if you asian eat some rice, got some lembas bread, bitch take a slice
Frodo fucks an elf that looks like Rachel weiss, rammed her twice, tits are nice, dick inside a vice
Samwise became mayor, the pimp got his ho
They got a dozen children and a round hobbit door
Merry and Pippin are knights of the land
And Gimli and Legolas take walks and hold hands
Return da King, it happened at last
Aragorn changed his sex the summer past
And now we got a good soul to play da king
Maybe I should really say return of da queen
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This comment has received too many negative votes show
Nooooo! Please dont make rap out of LotR. :'(
There are limits people!
:x
Grotomode 2 years ago
A.) I'm a big fan of lord of the rings, love the movies, read the books many times, etc... B.) I am not a big fan of rap. I did this for the purpose of comedy and a unique way of telling the lotr story. C.) Read the lyrics. I know my shit.
spikedurden 2 years ago
All three of the songs for my raps are by Ratatat. The first song is "Seventeen Years" the second song is "El Pico" and this song is "Lex."
spikedurden 3 years ago