Tainted Meat (Stza's Xmas Carol)

NOTE: The video is preceded by 30 seconds of silence. Be patient.

Merry Xmas!

This is a Xmas carol written and performed by Scott Sturgeon (a.k.a. Stza Crack). It's about Santa and Jesus, and Santa's a cannibal whose favorite thing is rotting meat.

Borrowed from the Team Spider TV Xmas Special.



LYRICS:

Santa loves the taste of fetid flesh
Rotting meats his favorite dish
Like the natives were killed by whites
Some tainted meat on a winters night
I travel down through history
The crucifix is a Christmas tree
Jesus whispers in my ear
Says the words I long to hear..

Santa loves
Tainted meat
And he kills
What he eats

And in time Christ came to say
God never liked me anyway
So I shacked with Mrs. Claus
Then I bled to great applause
They crucified me Easter day
The bunnies came
The children played
And Mrs. Claus
She married Nick
He killed for food
She sucked his dick

And they ate
Tainted meat
And theyd kill
What theyd eat


I came back just to die today
I saw those two up in that sleigh
God I hate that Santa Claus
And all the problems that hes caused
He took from me my holiday
With guilt and greed
What can I say?
But Ive been nailed here
A martyred tree
A gift for Santa
Some tainted meat

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Stza
• Leftover Crack
• Choking Victim
• Santa
• Santa Claus
• Jesus
• Christmas
• Xmas
• Carol
• meat
• Tainted Meat
• tainted
• cannibal
• squatter
• bunny
• bunnies
• Garfunkel
• Team Spider
• TV
• party
• tonight
• punk
• acoustic
• song
• music
• TV party tonight
• skateboard
• skate

[wassworth]

Stza explaining the song on a live recording:

"I wrote a Christmas carol, it's about how Jesus is jealous is Santa Claus for stealing his holiday, plus Jesus used to hang out with Mrs. Claus and Santa and Santa stole her away too. The thing is Santa's a cannibal and his favorite thing is rotted meat and so Jesus on the cross after three days is quite a tasty treat for Santa. "

[devilpoet]

I think I actually have that recording. The bootleg from Wasted Fest 2006, right?

[telltalemse]

lol how old is this? it is so fucking great man, haha. 10 stars lol

[devilpoet]

I don't know really. I'd guess 2004? I think the "Christmas With The Victim" special was 2005 and might have made mention of this. Not quite sure though.

[magicalpoopy]

i love him veryvery much but in all honesty hes a DICK at shows. he punches people when they get on stage to sing with him and throws beer bottles at people. cool, yes. nice, no.

[AnnoyingBeast]

stza is a jew

[TheOffenderDeadlock]

i want that skateboard

[MorphineFallout]

@magicalpoopy Uh, dude, he's nice as fuck. One of the nicest people I've ever hung out with.

[SkaJoey]

@magicalpoopy

i sung with stza he didn't punch me

ovbs not hardcore enough

[awaysrackinup]

man wtf?? stza's a lunatic

[negatory250]

hahaha this is hilarious... i need the lyrics to this song i cant figure em out. someone who knows them, hit me up

[nimmydumm]

Oh my bloody god, this is classic shit right here!

[LeftoverBiscuits]

@magicalpoopy i dunno what youre talking about cuz ive seen choking victim 2 or 3 times, leftover crack twice, and sfh just the other day and went up on stage and i didnt get punched nor has anyone else that ive seen

[papason4041]

dude... on christmas me and my friends are going to sing this infront of a church

[TheMajikninja420]

good old family classic