text: So I'm here.
Here I am, and standing tall
All my demons seeming dormant
My torment tucked away today I said I wouldn't let it stop me but she haunts me Someone staring at me from inside my mirror Glaring daggers dragging down my spine
Could such spiteful eyes really be mine?
I made up this mask From the glass of my shattered reflection
As an excuse for losing myself To some skewed perception,
Left with an anti-energy ghost of Me You can see her in my negative space
Her sorrow heavy in the hollows of my face Stabbing out from inside my eyes Climbing slowing, entwined with my spine Like vines clawing in my hair Touching a numbing freeze to my fingertips Lingering on withered lips Like some silent, Satanic prayer:
Her empty spreading everywhere
Creeping, sneaking into all my secrets
And spreading the word by way of caged birds The soul sounds so strong in their songs.
See, I've tried to claim the same strength to my name
carved the poem souls of those secrets told deep into my brittle bones I set my pulse to the same push-pull rhythm The clockwork of this revolt constantly whipping
within the spaces between
the hollow and my heart
all the black-hole particles pulling apart everything i've ever been spilling Sin into my only art
And now the ink in my veins falls with the rain
strained against my better restraint it ripped me raw, Clawed out from under my skin
still i squirm to get out as if this were my prison
but it's not
it can't be that easy
it's not something you can see it's an itch in the air between here and there where nothing is everything, and to answer your question: To Be is not.
This is where we rot, while somewhere, someone's laughing so hard he's crying just like i'm trying not to with the smoke of his ghost
caught in my eyes
burning and blurring my vision
while with an even wider smile he
pries up my fingernails with sadistic precision Shredding my muscles, my tongue torn raw Twisting my teeth still strung into my jaw
my lips pinned up to match his masochistic grin
His empty is in my marrow I tied of my circulation with his ripped-out heartstrings and shot up the liquid of his eyes without knowing they were laced with lead which now weighs in my sighs but like a
Drug, or a
God, or a
lying teenage lover i thought it could take me away from this place but
I'll never get out
cause it's not something i'm in
it's more like my skin
like a coat of cold rainwater closing me in
a membrane
a black plastic bag trying to contain the viral stain of a sanity slain so that I can convey more movement and less pain Trying to translate some motion from all this meaning i just keep bleeding
seeping out from under scars we sealed cheating;
It was so cheap the bite is still breeding in my blood, there are a billion more brands of this broken heart's beating a million more methods of self-mutilation the never-ending manifestations of this place
I can't get out of
That's starting to seem less like a place
and more like my state of being Maybe The memory of dream I can't even say I've seen or the scrape of a chemical rape in my veins even the echoing laugh of that shadow cast too far and too fast for me to follow and catch;
maybe
I should just let it be
Melt into my mirror, and make it be me
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wow, the lights were actually good this year!!
and so were you!!!!
RollerPortia122 2 years ago