Can you go back to being vanilla?

http://www.the-sub-mission.com This is my opinion on the question I recieved via email.

"I suscribed to your channel a while back because you are so open and kind to answer questions. Here is mine. After many years of marriage i am loosing both a husband and my Master. This is not all bad, however, i am wondering if having lived the lifestyle, is it possible to live happily vanilla... i am perplexed and could use another persons perspective. I think sometimes i might long for certain aspects that the bdsm lifestyle offer, but also have met someone fantastic not into bdsm...

thanks for your opinion and ideas..."

I left the user anonymous because I never know with these types of questions if they are OK with me saying their names.

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• Faete31
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[EricB256]

You say "everybody has some kind of a fetish." That quote feels very reassuring to me, because I most certainly have one or several even, but when getting to know a woman, I've always been holding back that information, to not scare her away. But when everybody has one, she probably has one as well and I don't need to worry.

Even most vanilla ice cream these days is just fake vanilla ;-)

[faete31]

lol! I love that last line. I *hate* the term vanilla so much, because like I said I've never met anyone who didn't have SOME kind of fetish. :)

[MomoNoHanna]

Super cute skirt! My Master prefers me wearing skirts :) At the moment Im living in jeans he misses the skirts but he also doesnt want me to frezze (Aussie winter) were those socks or stockings? Im presuming socks? Were did you get them from? Coz they were so cool!!! do you think they be warm enough to wear in a aussie winter? hehe :)

[faete31]

Thank you! :-) I think most men like their women in skirts. lol!

Actually, in this vid I'm wearing footless tights. I got them on eBay. :)

[music4fun875020079]

i found bdsm at a young age , it started when my girlfriend would like to have me penetrate her as she slept .... it soon later moved on to putting my hand over her mouth during sex as she would grind and buck stimulating her clit , talking dirty

tying her wrist to the bedpost with her stockings.. good times !

[salamirterra]

BDSM: serious business

[Littleone89]

I think I COULD enjoy being in a vanilla relationship, but I would still have thoughts and things like that that aren't exactly vanilla. but I could never be 100% vanilla like, no kink or anything. That's just not me. But I could certainly do at least well with someone who wasn't my Master, as long as he at least enjoyed some of my favorite 'kinks' :) I think just like everyone has their limits of what they don't like, everyone has their limits of what they sort of 'need' in a relationship.

[firehawkx]

i did not read all the other comments, but i watched your video... and you are mostly right about everything... i personally dont think when you have experienced bdsm/kinky life, that you can go back to total vanilla relationship... My sub and I are now like you, we dont get too attached to non-open minded people anymore... we just dont have any connection with them... :) Anyway nice video... have a nice day!

[sugarwater01]

i was with a really crappy boyfriend who was at least..a little interested in bondage...now im with an AMAZING boyfriend who inst into it at all and i hate it. sex is so boring. we only have sex once a month and we have only been together for a year...im 22 for goodness sakes :(. i miss the bondage..i wish i could experience it with someone who is as into it as i am. so my answer is...no...you cant go back

[faete31]

I agree with you 100%, especially on the tems vanilla. I hate that word.. And honestly, I don't think I know anyone who is what most people who use the term consider "vanilla" to be.

[MatthewBain]

And as to the term "vanilla" - like so many other aspects of "BDSM Lifestyle" culture, it's just a way to label and discriminate. Because honestly, most "Lifestyle" proponents' real fetish is judging other people.

[MatthewBain]

Excellent video! Your hair is adorable and that is the cutest outfit! Who needs to sit down? That looks like an outfit you should be kneeling in anyway. ;)

You can go back, BTW, but only if that's the right choice for you. Here's the deal: Remember that no matter what, it's not the trappings of the relationship you should be in love with. It's the other person. If you love someone enough to join your life with theirs, the rest has a way of working itself out. Stop worrying and love honestly.