How To Display Impeccable Manners

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You'll probably never have to greet the Queen, but everyone should know some basic etiquette rules.

To complete this How-To you will need:

An appreciation for social niceties
A good memory

Step 1: Respect authority

Respect authority by always introducing a subordinate to a superior, not vice versa.

Step 2: Don't celebrate yourself

Do not take so much as a sip of your cocktail when everyone else is drinking theirs in your honor. Drinking during your own toast is like giving yourself a hearty round of applause.

Step 3: Know left from right

Know the rules regarding left and right. If you're handed a name tag, slap it on your right lapel. Then hold your drink in your left hand, so your right is free for handshakes. And don't eat the dinner roll on your right or drink the water on your left.

Tip: An easy way to recognize what's yours at the table is to think BMW: Bread, Meal, Water/Wine.

Step 4: Know the codes

Know the codes: If you must leave mid-meal to use the powder room, place your napkin on your chair. When you leave for good, put it beside your plate. If you're "resting" between bites, cross your knife and fork on your plate, with the knife on the right. If you're done, place knife and fork side by side, pointing at the 11 o'clock position.

Step 5: Know when to say when

Know when to say when: When everyone is done eating, so are you.

Step 6: Know how to sneeze

Try to sneeze and cough into a tissue, then throw it away immediately. If there's no time for a tissue, direct your nose into your upper arm. While this may sound like the equivalent of wiping your runny nose on your sleeve, it is not. It's meant to keep germs off your hands, where they will infect others.

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Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• acting
• basics
• decorum
• etiquette
• HotHowTos
• niceties
• office
• practicing
• public
• social
• work

[Rayzser]

I do everything right, pretty much, except for stop eating when everyone else does.

I MUST EAT MY FOOD! >:(

[LitCrit101]

'The world is my oyster' means you've got the world on a string, in the palm of your hand: you are 'on top' and everyone likes you; you're a celebrity. 'Using the wrong fork' means he did something to offend 'society,' the people who make the rules about 'who is in and who is out.' He didn't follow 'etiquette.' In OW's case, he might have been referring to him being a celebrated author who was put in jail for a homosexual relationship with an important man's son.

[waffles4everful]

Powder room xD

[BakuraSpoon]

i can already do all of these :)

[MrChocolate7777]

The world is my dick but i used the wrong vigina

[PlastikHaifisch]

I'm left-handed, my drink has to be lifted up by my left hand...

-PlastikHaifisch

[zestamaster]

what if youre left handed?

[DeepSetEyesDance]

I ALWAYS EAT IN THE PACE THAT I CHOOSE-I WILL NOT CHOKE ON THE FOOD BY EATING TOO QUICKLY JUST BECAUSE OTHER MERE HUMANS ARE ALMOST DONE.I WILL NOT BE FORCED IN THE NAME OF SCHIZOPHRENIC ETIQUETTE TO ABANDON FOOD THAT I STILL WANT TO EAT ON THE PLATE.I REFUSE TO ADHERE TO THIS UNIMPORTANT CRAP-LIFE'S TOO SHORT.

[DeepSetEyesDance]

THE CREATOR/GOD DID NOT MAKE GUIDELINES ON HOW TO CONSUME FOOD IN AN INTRICATELY COMPLEX PARADOX MANNER.WHEN HUNGRY-JUST FEED THE STOMACH IN THE WAY/MANNER SUITED TO YOU AND YOU ARE FIXED.

[ilovesims24ever11]

0:59 what if you havent even took a bite of your food

[TheMeerkittens]

throwing a tissue away isn't good manners, it's basic hygiene!

[kiettram4869]

@jillstillrules169 Then don't stuff your face, it's not nice to stuff your face in front of someone that can't eat alot, it's just like... saying that you got modern warefare 3 early (And it is going to be released in the future) in front of some modern warefare freak