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How To Cow-Tip

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Uploaded by on Mar 28, 2008

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Cow-tipping is legendary, yet animal experts say it's nearly impossible to do. Here's how to "tip" the odds in your favor.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Several strong partners in crime
A dairy cow pasture
Boots that can be hosed off
Black clothing

Step 1: Choose a pasture

Choose a dairy cow pasture. Dairy cows tend to be more docile than beef cattle, although they are still easily startled.

Step 2: Scout it out

While it's still light, pick an entry point from which you can make a quick getaway without being seen.

Step 3: Return after dark

Return with your friends after dark wearing boots that can be hosed off (unless you want to tramp cow poop home). If you have to drive to the pasture, park your vehicle for a fast escape.

Tip: You're a cow commando—wear dark clothing to decrease your visibility.

Step 4: Find a cow

Weave your way through the pasture to the nearest isolated cow. Travel downwind and stay hunkered down—cows might seem gentle, but their instinct is to assume you're a predator and bolt.

Step 5: Avoid bulls

Make sure your intended target is not a bull. Remember: if there's an udder, no need to shudder... but if it's a steer, stay clear! And stay away from mama cows who have babies close by.

Tip: Forget anything you've heard about beaming a flashlight into a cow's eyes to see if it's sleeping; unlike horses, cows can't sleep standing up. If it's tippable, it's awake.

Step 6: Push

Sneak up as close as you can get to the cow, and have everyone get ready to hit the cow with both hands. Then count to three and push!

Step 7: Run

Now RUN! It might be hard to run while you're giggling and dodging cow pies, but you and your friends will want to escape to a safe place so the cranky cow (or crabby farmer) won't find you.

Step 8: Keep tipping

You can try to sneak back into the pasture and tip more cows, but you'll probably just tire yourself out or start a stampede that's sure to wake the farmer—which might just be part of the fun.

Thanks for watching How To Cow-Tip! If you enjoyed this video subscribe to the Howcast YouTube channel! http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=howcast

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Top Comments

  • how to tip a cow

    You will need... some change

    Step 1: walk up to a cow

    Step 2:give it some change

    Done

  • WHY THE FUCK WOULD U WANNA TIP A COW??!!

see all

All Comments (1,103)

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  • this is halarious. "moo!"

  • moo!

  • @Gunslinger48 It's pretty accurate for some kid who's spergin' out over a comment I made 3 months ago.

  • @Zalman1337 "autistic retard?" That is a pretty pathetic put down.

  • @TheMarblegirl101 typical.

  • Great.

  • @Zalman1337 (sighs) looks like that's another person on the blocked list. along with my 86 other people

  • @TheMarblegirl101

    1. Didn't say you were.

    2. Nobody cares.

    3. *see 2*

    4. *see 2*

    5. You're an autistic retard for not getting the joke I was making (Jews don't tip).

  • @Zalman1337 4 things

    1.im not a jew. im an 11 year old kid

    2.read my about me section on my channel so you can think TWICE about saying stuff like that

    3.i have WAY more money than 20 cents

    4.my comment is a top comment so BACK OFF!

  • I cow tipped... But ended up having anal buttsecks with it.

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