Poor Boy.

[was I always this way?]

HD pleaase!

So lately, I've been struggling with myself. Fighting with myself.

I've always been the sort of person to go with the flow, and think the sole purpose of my riding was because I loved my horse. That's it, that's all. No shows. No high jumps. Just the time spent with her. What happened to that person? I've lost her.

The person that I am now is the very person I always say I despise. The girl who has everything someone else has ever wanted but expects more. The girl who has not said a meaningful thanks ONCE for the great things her family has provided her. The girl who constantly thinks, 'I want this' or 'I need that'. The girl who spends no time with her horses unless she is riding them. I'm losing the passion and drive.

I can't do it anymore.

Before, I'd throw my whole emotion into not only my riding, but just my time spent with my horse. I have not seen that emotion once in, let's say, the past few months. And they definately know it too. I can tell. Things aren't the same anymore. I want to go back to that girl who, if she got a ride to school, would plead to go see her horses and say good morning to them. I want to go back to that girl who was spending her spare time out with her dad working on that big beautiful barn that he built with very, very little help. I want to go back to that girl who would give her horse a huge hug after she was done riding her as a thank you. I want to go back to that girl who was called slow because she would take forever to groom her horse but actually just wanted a few more minutes making her horse feel good. I want to go back.

And I promise. It will be that way again.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
- Oprah Winfrey

If you read all of that you are lovely and put a ♥ somewhere in your comment! (: I'm hopefully (cross your fingers) getting a new camera very soon! So I hope to have better quality videos!
I would like to thank all 461 of my subscribers! Your support, and comments, and watching of my videos makes me ecstatic!

Thanks guys!

Category:

Sports

Tags:

• equestrianrider465

[horselover55255]

wow! so beautiful!

your description almost brought me to tears, because I can really relate!

You'll find your way back to that girl you once were, you seem like an amazing person :') ♥

[equestrianrider465]

@horselover55255 wow, thank you so much for your kind words. i'm glad you can relate and know somewhat how i'm feeling right now. it'll be a battle, but i need to bring myself to go back. <3 thank you again, it means the world!

[twinkenbaily]

Always love your videos :D ♥

[equestrianrider465]

@twinkenbaily aww, (: thank you! <3

[Blitzen72697]

Wow, simply beautiful ♥

[equestrianrider465]

@Blitzen72697 thank you, it truly means a ton. <3

[equestrianrider465]

@oxLiveToRidexo thank you so much! (: i hope that's the case and they can see it's doesn't always have to be that way. <3