Handsome Dan Van/Truth In Advertising

dan.handsome@yahoo.com

TRUTH IN ADVERTISING

We interrupt this broadcast
To televise a major breakthrough
Somewhat scientific, really quite terrific
Wholesale direct to you

Free from any natural substance
Candy coated red, white and blue
Made by chemical concoctors
Endorsed by real doctors
Tasty and easy to chew

Now you may be asking
What can it do for me
Why the list is quite numerous
We're really quite exuberous
It's the invention of the century

Drop 20 pounds an hour
40 pounds in two
It's a fat evaporator
Metabolic accelerator
The more you eat the more you lose

Grow hair only where it's wanted
You can stop shaving your back
Colors tailor made and you choose the shade
Red, blonde, brunette or black

And for a manly johnson
Forget that other stuff
It'll grow down to your toes
Like a big fire hose
And you just roll it up

For the scolastically challenged
The ones who flunked second grade
It's amazing and new
We can raise your IQ
You can be governor of California

Firms the saggiest muscles
Stops the baddest of breath
Cures any malady
No more surgery
Postpones cancer, even death

Keeps your teeth their whitest
Keeps you permanently brown
No more night classes
Throw away those glasses
You'll be the toast of every town
This is a one time TV offer
Only 19.95
Don't delay, just one pill a day
Operators are standing by

Category:

Music

Tags:

• original
• songs