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In Clinic (In Paris medical school parody)

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Uploaded on Feb 11, 2012

Love to all our med school brothers and sisters!

DJ Vapor, Sound Engineer: soundcloud.com/dj-vapor
Miles Mueller, Director of Photography: Vimeo.com/milesmueller

Med students so hard, can't nothing deter us
Rotations don't scurr us
Finished two years of classes finally we're in the hospital like now it's surrus
(Med students so hard) All day rounding
Hours we work are astounding
Wanna diagnose every patient on the census but we're new to this game and differentials are confounding
(Med students so hard) Check the anion gap
I'm like a ninja when I do a pap
(Med students so hard) Rocking Tdap
Everybody wishes they could tap
Medicine is happenin', but surgeons get the best toys
Bovies, bone saws, babcocks, Ortho boys
(Med students so hard) We treat em, where the charts at, we need em
Spend all morning writing notes like a boss, but nobody's gonna read em
(Med students so hard) Meds immerse us, wash our hands and microbes curse us
Our greatest care is patient care
Hearts in the right place, no situs inversus
(Med students so hard) catching babies, vaccinate against rabies
Med mobster, treat zoster, helpin' all of my shingle ladies
(Med students so hard) Chug caffeine, titrate Lantus like a machine,
They say do a DRE, blushin' like Parvo B-19
Med students so hard, acronyms never end
RCA, CVA, DKA
Med students so hard, don't know em but we'll pretend
tPA, PSA, AMA
Patients ask me questions and I spike my cortisol
Tachycardic, give us all metoprolol
Feelin like C. diff, med school's metronidazole
Work so hard I'm seeing things, haloperidol
Blood sugar's high, don't you agree?
What we checkin', HbA1c?
Running stitch, incision healed
Residents are hollerin' but they can't touch my sterile field.
H&P, head to toes
Hurry up, café's bout to close
HIPPA's king, that's how it goes (I'm just sayin)
Need Zofran ODT, I'm feelin queasy
Anxious while we're rounding man, cause getting pimped ain't easy.
Got lab slides, we'll stain em
Got abscesses, we'll drain em
Got MRSA, let's vanc it
Got a Foley, let's yank it
Students' work's never done
And gunners gonna gun
So we study like crazy
At least we're through with Step One, huh!
Med students so hard, we fight against infection
Med students so hard, we always use protection
Increased sympathetic tone
Pressure's on, aldosterone
Feelin' reduced, glutathione
Someone save me from my loans
Stuck in the hospital, glued
Feel like I'm 302'd
Did you get rest? You lookin' peppy
Naw, got a bolus of epi
All tied up like a histone
Revive me, naloxone
Shelfs hurt me, oxycodone
Wishin' I had a clone
Got Hippocratic ideals
1 to 10, how your pain feels?
Gettin' more independent
But still got doctor training wheels
Tougher than cortical bone
I don't mind this testosterone
We ain't 1st years now, we're grown
Medicine we're gonna own!

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