How To Fake Being Sick

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Pulling a Ferris Bueller is easier than you think—if you plan ahead.

To complete this How-To you will need:

A notebook to record dates and excuses
A somewhat gullible parent
Acting skills
Corn flakes
Hot liquids

Step 1: Commit this list to memory ...

Commit this list to memory: a fever of 100 degrees or more, vomiting, diarrhea, earache, and sore throat. Doctors say these are valid reasons to miss school, so what parent would disagree?

Step 2: Keep a log

Keep a log of dates and excuses so you can prevent patterns from developing.

Tip: Never brag about missing days over the phone, e-mail or IM. You never know when your communications might be intercepted by an adult.

Step 3: Fake onset of symptoms

Become skilled at faking the onset of symptoms. Digestive ailments generally occur suddenly, while other maladies begin presenting themselves the night before.

Tip: Lay the necessary groundwork—at dinner, mention how scratchy your throat is and don't eat a thing, especially dessert!

Step 4: Make fake vomit

If necessary, pull out the big guns. Broken cornflakes mixed with a little water make an excellent stand-in for vomit.

Step 5: Fake your temperature

If your parents demand further proof, drink hot liquids before taking your temperature to produce a false reading.

Step 6: Enjoy your success

Congratulations! Your mom ordered you to stay home. When you sneak out, make sure you're back before anyone notices you're missing.

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Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• sick
• flu
• hookey
• fake
• being
• howcast
• howto
• callin

[rcollado2009]

And I thought I was ugly...

[Trumpetsongz88]

Both top comments say it.

The first 5 pages of the comments say it.

I'm saying it.

She's ugly.

It's been established.

:/

[Karenartexkluzive]

good actors:D hehe

[TheBlackstar135]

STEP ONE: LOOK AT HER FACE DID YOU KNOW: THE GIRL IS UGLY

[MoName1998]

LOL at Kevos4life's comment

[MudPies09]

Why are you so fugly

[deadlydeadd]

Fugly batch

[tacoofskillage]

yeah well im indian, so my parents are the ultimate bs detectors

[kevos4life]

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I thought I was ugly

But then I saw you

[zVenFTW]

Even the aliens didn't want her.

[MissFrida94]

0.21 just me thinking somebody drew a penis before you saw the entire picture.

[Conkerz03]

NOT GIRL!!!! K ppl? You guys really that gulible? god damn