Demo. Book, music, and lyrics by Kerry Zukus. Vocals by Kerry Zukus and Marcy DeGonge-Manfredi.
"The Honeymooners Musical" is a musical-comedy interpretation of the classic television sitcom, set in its most memorable period, the mid-1950's.
Working-class housewife Alice Kramden brings a surprise anniversary present into her tenement for her bus-driver husband, Ralph. She is assisted by a boy from a nearby orphanage, Tommy, who is apprehended by the suspicious Ralph as he tries to leave. Ralph, as usual, ends up with egg on his face from jumping to erroneous conclusions. Alice then shares with Ralph new financial woes facing their family, and volunteers getting a job to augment their income. Ralph balks; male pride hurt, and they argue points of view.
RALPH
If you went out every day and you saw what I deal with;
You wouldn't give me the grief that you make me put up with.
ALICE
If you had to stare at the walls of this dingy apartment,
Scrubbing your dirt and your grime.
Why don't you try it sometime?
RALPH
Let's just discuss how a hot, stuffy bus smells in August.
ALICE
Only if you take a minute or two
On your knees whisking up your spilled pie crust.
RALPH
Now wait one minute...
Just one lousy minute.
Who keeps you in clothing?
ALICE
Rags!
RALPH
And puts meat on the table?
ALICE
Beans!
RALPH
And makes it so that you don't have to lift a finger?
ALICE (spoken)
Ha! How's about five fingers? (makes a fist)
RALPH (spoken)
Why you ungrateful woman!
Alice (spoken)
Grateful?! (sung)
Who cleans up after you?
RALPH
Filth!
ALICE
And who cooks your meals for you?
RALPH
Beans!
ALICE
And who gets you out of the stupid troubles you bring us?
RALPH (spoken)
Ha! Maybe we should just live on YOUR salary.
ALICE (spoken)
I don't call this living, Ralph; I call it starving.
RALPH (spoken)
We are NOT starving.
ALICE (spoken)
Speak for yourself, Ralph.
RALPH (sung)
I know somewhere out there there's something better;
Someone nicer.
I know when I'm there there'll be bowling, pizza,
Good times, great pals, and no...NAGGING!
ALICE
When we met, you told me we'd start off small;
We're still small.
The only thing bigger's your stomach,
Your ego, your mouth, our debts, and your BIG, FAT...
RALPH
To the moon, Alice! (spoken)
You know, I met a girl once... (sung)
She was handing out shovels for the WPA.
She was pretty;
With dancing eyes;
That girl was you, Alice.
She'd laugh; she'd smile.
She had a certain style;
A certain zest for life.
One day I made her my wife.
Then I met her mother,
And her low-life brother,
Stanley.
But now I find out,
She gets all her kicks out
Of taking my life,
And just squashing it under her heels like a bug.
ALICE
If you had just half a brain in your head you'd be dangerous.
RALPH
To the moon, Alice!
ALICE
There he goes, again...
RALPH
To the moon, Alice!
ALICE
Thar' she blows!
RALPH
To the moon, Alice!
ALICE
Just like a whale, with a big mouth,
A big spout, and a small, small...
RALPH
Bang, Zoom!
ALICE
My mother was right.
RALPH
Bang, Zoom!
ALICE
My brother was right.
RALPH
Bang, Zoom!
ALICE
My sisters were right.
RALPH & ALICE
You're a cheapskate.
You're a kill-joy.
RALPH & ALICE
You're a...
RALPH
Lousy,
ALICE
Crummy,
RALPH
Screaming,
ALICE
Yelling,
RALPH & ALICE
Worst mistake I ever made,
I wonder why I ever stayed.
(ED NORTON opens the door, upstage center)
NORTON (spoken)
Hey Ralphie Boy!
RALPH & ALICE
ARGHHHHHHH................................................!
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RALPH & ALICE: TO THE MOON!by northbreed1161,503 views
wow!!!!! awesome work !
kerryincolumbus 12 hours ago
it all works better without the video
Eaglemerica 1 month ago