This really isn't read correctly. The repetition of the line requires a subtle emphasis, a difference in parsing. The reader has only half achieved this, but comes off halting, stilted, more like someone revising the same thought rather than developing that thought with the same language. Williams is playing with the words like blocks here, moving them around, shifting emphasis. It is much more about the forward progress of the idea than its ruminative echo. This should probably be redone.
I don't think Williams himself would care an iota how she reads it. He would be happy just hearing it...and so should you be.
m8roth 3 months ago
This really isn't read correctly. The repetition of the line requires a subtle emphasis, a difference in parsing. The reader has only half achieved this, but comes off halting, stilted, more like someone revising the same thought rather than developing that thought with the same language. Williams is playing with the words like blocks here, moving them around, shifting emphasis. It is much more about the forward progress of the idea than its ruminative echo. This should probably be redone.
kenanderson66 1 year ago