Relationships - Self Improvement Bootcamp - Day 15

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Uploaded by on Dec 19, 2011

In our last videos, we learned about the significance of the almighty dollar, including ways of saving money, investing, and dealing with debt. Today, we are going to cover a very important area -- relationships. I want to emphasize that I believe this to be one of the most important lessons in this boot camp. Nurturing good relationships with friends, family members, and colleagues is often *crucial* to our personal and professional growth. Relationships, I believe, factor into every single facet of your daily life. Nearly everything we do in life, in some way, boils down to whether or not we have a good relationship with someone.

In terms of relationships, there are a couple of different categories of relationships that I plan on discussing with you today. First, I'll be discussing relationships with the ones you love -- namely, the members of your family and your close friends. Then, I'll talk about relationships with the people you associate with in the business world and at work. Sustaining good relationships with these people is also critical.

The key to *any* healthy relationship -- and it doesn't matter with whom -- is clear and honest communication. It just DOESN'T MATTER what sort of relationship we're talking about -- it could be a relationship with a family member, your spouse, a colleague at work, a close friend, or a potential customer in the business world.

First off, be honest. If you're not being honest with someone when you talk to them, then you're not properly communicating at all. Don't say something when you mean something else. Just say what you mean. Make sure you understand, clearly, what the other person is saying -- not just the words, but the actual ideas associated with those words.

Keep this in mind: Stephen Covey, one of my favorite self-improvement experts, once said that we should "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." Make sure you listen, actively, to what the other person is saying. Don't just nod and pretend to understand -- really think about what that other person is saying before forming your response. That's what understanding is.

Stop and think about your interpersonal relationships. Make a mental list of your most important relationships -- separate them into family/friends and business relationships. What are these relationships like? Would you consider them to be healthy ones, or unhealthy ones?

Let's jump right in to a discussion on effective relationships with your family and friends.To maintain a good relationship with your spouse and children, there's one really, really easy thing you can do that is virtually guaranteed to result in a better relationship.

Love them. Simple, right?

Love your children, your spouse your parents, your brothers and sisters. TELL them that you love them, and don't assume that they already know that. Granted, they probably DO already know that, but it never hurts to tell them again. Of course, it depends on the person. Some people aren't too big on being verbally told "I love you" -- they'd prefer that their significant other actually SHOWED their love. A good way of showing your spouse or children that you love them is, simply, by spending some time doing what they like to do. You know what I mean. Do the same thing with your children -- take them somewhere fun. Tell them you love them. It'll go a long way toward cultivating a healthy relationship.

Let me paint a picture for you. You're sitting at the dinner table with your spouse, and your conversation goes something like this. Your spouse says, "So, honey, how was your day?"

"Good," you reply.

And the conversation ends.

If that's the way you and your spouse communicate on a typical day, it might be time to re-examine your communication style with your spouse as a whole.

Now, don't forget about your friends -- I consider the relationships you have with close friends to be second in importance to the relationship you have with the members of your family. It's incredibly important to have friends. They have skills and resources that you might not necessarily have. They can show and teach you about different areas of life. They can offer you help when you need it most. In short, friends are incredibly valuable to have in your life.

Let me leave you with this last bit of advice. Have FUN with your friends and family, but make sure the relationship isn't just about fun, games, and entertainment. It should be genuinely meaningful, as well.

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