How to Save Your Marriage During an Affair

http://divorcebusting.com/blog/

A question that I'm regularly approached with is "how do I save my marriage if my spouse has found out about my affair?"

In this video I explain the most effective way to go about doing this. Instead of forcing your spouse to immediately end their affair, taking a more hands off approach will increase the odds of preventing a divorce. If you're too forceful, it's human nature that the other spouse will back off and file for divorce.




Get more information on Divorce Busting Coaching Sessions - http://bit.ly/ckA7ck

Join the Divorce Busting Newsletter for to be the first to receive Michele's latest work:
http://conta.cc/9vFvE4

Full Video Transcript:

Hi I'm Michele Weiner Davis and I'm the founder of DivorceBusting.com and today's topic is about infidelity.

One question that people ask me a lot is "how do I save my marriage when I know my spouse is having an affair?"

Sometimes it's simple and sometimes it's not quite so simple. Let me talk about the simpler situation first. I just had a couple this week where the wife was having an affair and the husband snooped a little bit and found out that she had actually met this guy in another city and he was devasted and confronted her about it, and she was so remorseful. She loves her husband. She doesn't really know how this happened. She made a bad choice. She would do anything to save her marriage.

Then it's clearer what to do to save the marriage because she was willing to give up this affair and give it up cold turkey. Then they could begin to heal and begin to rebuild the foundation of their relationship. He had the right to ask her to do whatever he needed her to do to comfort him.

However, many situations aren't like that. One person finds out the other person is having an affair and that spouse is not willing to give up that affair. When the spouse is confronted they get very angry, defensive. "I can't believe you were snooping, this is my life". Let's face it, then you do not have any leverage. You have a choice to make. You can dry a line in the sand and say I'm not going to put up with this, "you need to end this affair or it's over." Chances are, I'm telling you, nobody likes to be pressured into a corner. You're likely to end your marriage.

If you want to save your marriage, you have to do something that is counter-intuitive. It will take all of your strength. It will be the hardest thing you've ever done. You have to back off, you have to give your spouse a little space. Because most affairs end within 6 months. It's a complicated thing, because you need to focus on your own life and not put pressure on your spouse to end their affair. Sometimes you have to have some expert advice to hold your hand and walk you down that route so you know exactly what to do.

That's where a Divorce Busting Coach can really come in handy. They will give you a step by step map of what you need to say or what you need to do, and most importantly what you need not to say or do to the spouse who is having an affair. So test the waters. You can confront your spouse, but if your spouse gives you a hard time, do not pressure your spouse any further. You can actually make matters worse. A line in the sand may just mean the end of your marriage. Consider using a Divorce Busting Coach to help you find the way.

Category:

Education

Tags:

• sex
• marriage
• divorce
• save marriage
• libido
• sex-starved marriage
• average sex
• love
• relationship advice

[navy1478]

I have a Q. I'm a man married and I love my wife. I love to have sex, I wish I can have it 10 times a day. But, my wife doesn't like it, I have to ask almost each time.... I think shouldn't be like that. My Q is should I divorce her or stay with her and find me an other woman that I can have fun with?

I really need answer. I talked to her many time and her answer always sorry I'll change sorry. And after back to some.

[DivorceBusting1]

Although there are no universal rules about how often people should have sex, your wanting sex 10 times a day makes me wonder whether you have a sex or love addiction. While sex is a wonderful part of marriage, it can't be the only part of marriage. You and your wife have very different sex drives but you could find ways to compromise. Just remember, having an affair never solves anything.

[RealvsScam]

if my wife where cheating on me, i would back off and let her do her thing but i would also cheat on her during that time.

[Sandytop]

The cheaters, are just that. What makes you think they will quit cheating by giving them room to think it over. Will they be remorseful, do a 180 or have any moral/ethical regret? No, I don't believe it is in their nature or upbringing. Rule number one is, If they cheat, I'm busting out. The trust has been broken.