Funny Pet News #2 Dog Viagra, Illegal Monkey, Ostrich Libido

This is Zootoo.com's program dedicated to Pet News.

Watch as Laura and Beth bring you real pet news that proves the truth is stranger than fiction.

This episode;
Dog Returns Home After 7 years Missing
Blue Pill Keeps Dog Alive
81 Year Old Woman Hospitalized For Bites
Illegal Pet Monkey
Arrested For Making Faces
Ostrich's Lost Libido


Show Transcript;

LAURA: Doggie Viagra, an Illegal Pet Monkey, an Ostrich's lost libido, and more.

BETH: All here, at Zootoo News. Real Pet News that proves the Truth is Stranger than Fiction.

WHOOGITY: Beth Hoyt .... Laura Valpey ... Zootoo News ...
Because we are more concerned with who's feeding Tinkerbell than what Paris is NOT eating.

BETH: Hi, I'm Beth Hoyt.

LAURA: And I'm Laura Valpey. First up today:

Story 1
LAURA: A dog that went missing seven years ago has returned home, to the open arms of the Correy family in Arizona. Everyone is happy about Jewel's return, except for the Correy's new-er dog, Jade. Apparently, Jewel and Jade have been fighting ever since.

(With dog barking images/video)

BETH: Woof Woof!
LAURA: WOOF!
BETH: They love me more than you! They didn't even come looking for you!
LAURA: Oh yeah? Well ... You're adopted!
BETH: gasp.

Story 2
BETH: Ingrid, a pit bull mix living at a long island shelter, needs love, and a lot of Viagra.
Ingrid was near death from heart worms when they discovered that Viagra opened her blood vessels. She needs a $10 pill every day for the rest of her life to stay alive. The shelter says we can help, if we all donate one pill for Ingrid.

Also accepting a Viagra pill a day:

Picture of old man.

Bob.

Story 3
BETH: An 81 year old woman was hospitalized for bites -- no wonder!—At her home in suburban Wilmington, animal control officers found about 120 rats, 25 rabbits, six parakeets, a dog, a quail and a cockatiel.

This woman's house reminds me of somewhere .... Oh yeah. A zoo!

Story 4
LAURA: A woman's pet monkey was seized last month because of a newly enacted "no wildlife as pets" law.

The woman plans to appeal, and while the case is pending, the monkey will remain at a Wildlife Preserve and Zoo.

Beth makes monkey face.

LAURA: Sorry, Beth. I guess you've gotta go.

Story 5
LAURA: A prosecutor has dropped charges against a woman who was arrested for staring at and making faces at a police dog in a taunting and harassing manner.
The woman claims she could not help it. This is her driver's license picture.
Insert pic of crazy woman.

Story 6
BETH: In Germany, Gustav the Ostrich has lost his sex drive! Gustav's owner said the previously lustful Ostrich has become apathetic and depressed and has been unable to perform with his 2 breeding partners for half of a year. The owner blames noisy firecrackers as the cause of the bird's impotence.
Change of position, etc, to make this seem like new story:
Also! Accepting your donations of one Viagra pill a day: Gustav!
Fireworks!!!!

LAURA: That's all for today on Zootoo News. Join us next week for more.

Category:

Pets & Animals

Tags:

• Zootoo
• Zoo
• Pet
• News
• Funny
• Comedy
• Weird
• Dog
• Viagra
• Illegal
• Monkey
• Ostrich
• Breeding
• Libido
• Animal
• Hoarding
• Valpey
• Hoyt

[MeTishaRoss]

haseriously guys there must be some nice men out there i am so lonely

[BrainNY82]

I can recommend a reputable pharmacy medshops. org The order placed on the 10-03-2010 was delivered within 7 days, a most impressive service.

[nearthearclight]

Your lower third is killing me....lower that shit!

[xHizukax]

loooooooool !!!!

[kingcrimson234]

women aren't funny. beth's hot though.

[99pitbulls]

haha i agree women are only funny to other women and then they all laugh like a pack of hyenas.

[99pitbulls]

wtf

[YouToobDoode]

women just cant be funny, its not in their nature...

[dawgholla]

bob

[josee431]

what channel is  this