How to Fake Being Sober

Expand the description and view the text of the steps for this how-to video.

Check out Howcast for other do-it-yourself videos from Milkhouse and more videos in the Drinking category.

You can contribute too! Create your own DIY guide at http://www.howcast.com/videos/new or produce your own Howcast spots with the Howcast Filmmakers Program at http://www.howcast.com/filmmakers/apply.

If "sloppy" and "drunk" are often used in the same sentence to describe you, you might want to soak in some of these suggestions.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Acting skills
Some vitamin C
Eye drops
A little face powder
Some strong-smelling food

Warning: Never drink and drive.

Step 1: Pop a Vitamin C

Pop a Vitamin C. Studies have reported that a large dose of Vitamin C will prevent drunken behavior.

Step 2: Walk a straight line

Announce to whoever's around: "I'm as sober as a Deacon and I can prove it!" Then walk a straight line. The keys are to focus on a point on the ground 10 feet in front of you and don't look down at your feet and the line.

Tip: If a police officer asks you to follow his finger with your eyes, mention that you've had a lot of coffee. Caffeine causes the same involuntary jerking of the eyeball that alcohol does.

Step 3: Eat something overpowering

Forget the mints: Eat something overpowering enough to cover up liquor breath, like garlic.

Step 4: Put in eye drops

Put in some eye drops.

Step 5: Lower voice

Lower your voice; drunks tend to get loud. Better still, try not to talk at all.

Step 6: Powder face

Powder your face—borrow a compact if you have to—to get rid of any telltale redness.

Thanks for watching How To Fake Being Sober! If you enjoyed this video subscribe to the Howcast YouTube channel! http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=howcast

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• drunk
• drinking
• sober
• party
• howto
• howcast

[ChaosGameing]

I swear to drunk I'm not god!

[captainChanChan]

1:30 mom!? is that you?

[MGApcPro]

First you teaches us to transport illegal stuff, now you teaches us to drunkdrive and not get caught....

What's next... how to hide a dead body?

[DANI476]

why the fuck is he putting eyedrops in his mouth?

[MovieMusicVideoGuy]

you would never get a situation like this unless you were drink driving which no one should ever do!!

[FieryPandaProduction]

I swear to drunk that I'm not god!

What the drunk do you mean I'm fuck?

I bet I can follow your eyes with my finger!

I'm not it, and I can prove drunk!

I can walk in a straight sweat, no line!

[letsgokillsumzombies]

It worked for me an officer believed me hah I'm gonna sneak out tonight watch the video :P

[MrTylerjames800]

whats up with the sex gag.....?

[robloker8]

is that kenny from kenny vs spenny

[lucase62]

1:20 This guy is starting to turn me off of alcohol... Was that the point of this video?

[watchthatvid112]

@DubbaRyzn how to be a complete buzzkill at a party

Step 1: don't drink

Step 2: express to everyone that what they're doing is wrong

Step 3: sit in the corner while everyone else is having fun because you think having a drink is going to kill you.

Did you know, if you space your drinks with a glass of water in-between you'll have less of a hang-over in the morning?

[stuartrileygustafson]

Drinking eyedrops give you the shits.