Seeing the pain I live with 24/7 & Morphine Withdrawals

This is how the Medtronic Neurostimulation Implant works for pain control.
I am in so much pain on this video because I set my chest pain off, which feels like an alien is breaking through my chest, along with neck, jaw, face and arm pain.
I had a sip of milk which is why my pain started.

I am also dealing with a mild withdrawal made worse considerably by this pain.

It has been 32 hours since my last dose of Morphine 10mg SC in hospital.
I have been in hospital for the last 8 days due to uncontrollable oesphageal pain that was beating even my Neurostimulator implant. If I had turned it off I have no idea how bad the pain would have been.
I have been on Morhine and Valium since being admitted.
I discharged myself last night against Doctor's advice due to family issues.
The Doctor wanted me to stay longer and start me on Endone, another Opiate, before going home. Plus I was still suffering from pain and unable to eat and drink without Morphine to kill the pain.
The Doctor fell over when I said that as soon as I got home I planned to cease all meds!!!!
I told him he could write a prescription but I wasn't going to fill it or take it.
And consequently me still having the pain while eating and drinking and not taking any pain killers, I am unable to eat or drink. It has been 32 hours since I have had anything to eat or drink.
I must check how long it takes for dehydration to start REALLY effecting you.
I am already dehydrated.
It is only going to get worse.
But I am ready for it.

This afternoon, 4 hours into withdrawls, the slight 'creepy crawlies' under the skin started. So too has the hot/cold flushes and stomach cramps. Sinus blockage. And lower right leg and foot cramps.

If any of you have seen my previous videos, you would know why I go Cold Turkey. For those of you who have never seen these videos or have any questions al all, please ask me as I am more than happy to truthfully answer.

I become physically addicted to pain meds while taking them for many years for GENUINE pain. Once I got my pain under control through non-drug methods I ceased the pain killers.
Something ALL Doctor's tell you is "If you take pain meds for pain then you can not become addicted." That is TRUE!!! But what they don't tell you is that if you ever stop the meds for whatever reasons, you WILL go through withdrawls the same as a 'druggie', a 'true addict', BUt you are NOT an addict. Your BODY IS.
There is a MASSIVE difference.

Anybody who has gone through withdrawls at any stage then get labled as an 'addict'.
No matter if it was withdrawling from Morphine after being in hospital or if you were a 'junkie' or 'slight' user, you get labled the same. ADDICT! And then EVERYONE see's you as just that. And to be labled an addict is hurtful and shameful.

The reason I choose to show you such a private and painful, literally, part of my life is to educate everyone on the truth.

I hope that is what I am achieving.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• medicine
• health
• morphine
• withdrawls
• home
• de-tox
• painkillers
• balckbettystack
• hospital
• Achalasia
• Gastroparesis
• opiates
• opiodes
• opiate
• opiode
• neurostimulator
• implant
• chronic
• pain
• chest
• Medtronic
• tramal
• endone
• valium
• ordine
• codeine
• cold
• turkey
• coldturkey

[AngeliaClaire]

Ok So still what is the cause of your pain is the question I have been asking you. Fibermyalgia. MS, Cancer? Thats all I was wondering how you can live like this. Miserable!

[balckbettystack]

@AngeliaClaire I have a an uncoordinated oesphagus that as soon as anything passes into it,it cramps up.Like a cramp in your fott really bad,but in my oesphagus.This 'cramp' can last a few minutes,hours & days.3 times now it has lasted for over 3 months!

They have just found abnormal cells in the oesphagus,so now my chances of cancer there are about 75%.

I aslo have a paralized gut & intestines.Compaired to my A,this doesn't give me too much trouble pain wise.

I also have Fibro.

[balckbettystack]

@AngeliaClaire The Fibro is faily new.It's been over a year now,but compaired to the pain I usually suffer,Fibro pain,depending where it is,doesn't even warrant me taking a Panadol for it.Just some rest.BUT when Fibro,Gastroparesis pain AND Achalasia pain ALL kick in at once,I scream & cry.There is nothing I can do except call an ambulance when i can't take it anymore.

[balckbettystack]

@AngeliaClaire I hope that explains it now?

If you have any more questions? Please ask.

[balckbettystack]

@TheSteveONeil You now what?Your withdrawals were no worse or better than mine.I am sick to death of current drug/opiate Users comong to my videos and thinking somewhere in their cooked brain that withdrawals have always been a competition.

Well it's not!You ane not only belittling me,although I can take it,you are belittling all the people who come to my page & watch my videos,& then ask me for support, to give them so hope.Your spitting in everyone's face.

[RitchieJake]

I suggest you drop the heroin and start smoking weed, you dont need this horrible drug my friend. Stick to the green.

[balckbettystack]

@munkfunk123 Thank you for the appology.

I will answer the question left on my profile tomorrow I hope.

[munkfunk123]

@balckbettystack yeah sorry I was a little hasty jumping the gun a bit, youve done well keep fighting sister!

[balckbettystack]

@AngeliaClaire When you have so much pain,as seen in this video,eating seems not worth it to end up with pain like that.When I mean drink,I mean ALL fluids,like water,milk etc.I have had 2 feeding tubes straight into my stomach surgically implanted.1 out the nose for 7 weeks.Never again.

I will send you a message with my Support page on it so you can have a much better understanding.

[balckbettystack]

@munkfunk123 Of course not BUT if you read the video you are seeing the pain I am in all the time without painkillers.

Besides I am sick to death at saying withdrawals are never a competition.

[munkfunk123]

this is nothing compared to benzo withdrawl shit this stuff lasts for 2 years on benzos

[AngeliaClaire]

@balckbettystack Well you HAVE to eat.I still am unclear as to WHY you have pain when you eat or drink. Does drink mean alcohol or any kind of liquids? Gosh that is horrible. How can you not live unless you have a feeding tube. Wow. Dear that is something I would not wish on anyone.