"What if your child becomes religious?" (Parenting Beyond Belief #5)

The fifth in a series on nonreligious parenting. Hosted by Dale McGowan, editor and co-author of "Parenting Beyond Belief" and "Raising Freethinkers." http://parentingbeyondbelief.com

Category:

Education

Tags:

• nonreligious
• Parenting
• Beyond
• Belief
• atheist
• humanist
• agnostic
• freethinker

[dayati]

Really glad I stumbled on these videos. I agree with most of what you teach, but I think you're a little too forgiving about religion's ability to poison the mind and cause otherwise good people to do horrible things that no rational person would do. I'm from Iran and I can't even begin to tell you the horrors brought about in the name of religion (jail, executions, torture, maiming, displacement, etc). I now live in Canada and people here don't realize how good they have it.

cont'd...

[PBBChannel]

Thanks dayati. I think we're actually in full agreement here. I am not in the least forgiving of religious atrocities and the ability of religion in many (not all) of its forms to suspend rational thought. But I do insist that my kids be allowed to sort that on their own. The conclusion will be more meaningful and long lasting when they do.

[dayati]

You're right about that. But how exactly do you tell them about the negative aspects without sounding overly biased? I mean, I could go on for days about the negatives because me and my family were affected directly in a negative way (I know most people are affected in indirect ways as well). I guess I find it difficult to remain as neutral as you suggest here.

BTW, I'm definitely going to pick up your books. I like most of what I've heard so far in your videos.

[PBBChannel]

Yes, it's a struggle to avoid dictating our own opinions to our kids. But I'm NOT neutral, and I'm not suggesting you should be either. I let my kids know exactly how I feel. But I also let them know that I trust them to use their own minds to sort the good from the bad. I think they'll do at least as well as I have. (See my video #4 for more on this.)

[blotzphoto]

Great job per usual Dale. Our 4 year old is just starting to ask those big questions about the world and you've already been a big help.

BTW, you're kind of listing to the left throughout this video.

[PBBChannel]

True, and unintentional, and funny!

[Revyloution]

Nicely done, I've been 'preaching' this kind of child rearing myself.  I've intentionally exposed my offspring to as many different types of religion as possible. I consider it similar to vaccinations. I start our lessons by compressing the core dogmas into a brief 10 minute story. And all religions seem ridiculous when compressed into 10 minutes.

I do disagree with one point. There is no way in hell im going to let my kid be 'political'

;)

[wimvandenberghe]

I was brought up in a liberal Catholic tradition. The other day, my dad (who still sees himself as a Catholic) and I both did the Beliefomatic quiz over at Beliefnet. I came out as a secular humanist (no surprise there) and my dad came out as a unitarian universalist with secular humanist in 2nd place!. Out of 30 possible "faiths", Catholic" was about number 27 on his list. Just goes to show how misleading labels can be, even when people apply them to themselves.

[8698gil]

I deliberately did not give my children any religious indoctrination, I never baptized them, took them to church, or any kind of religious instruction whatsoever. My oldest daughter is 30 years old. She knows nothing really about the bible, but she professes that she is a believer and that I am completely wrong. I have no idea what I did wrong here. I can't even reason with her, she won't listen. Hell, she believes that Noah's Ark is real.

[dayati]

@americanmuslimgirl Thanks for the insults. Anyway, case in point, you still learn of Islam from spindoctors. And again, I find the watered down version they feed you much more palatable than what Muhammad actually had his scribe write down. You are no different from cafeteria Christians who get all angry and swear that they are REAL Christians, yet do not actually follow their own holy book. I don't need to know you in order to know you. Anyone who's ever been in sales knows that "unique" is BS

[americanmuslimgirl]

@dayati You're right, I don't want to get mired in the weeds of your ignorance. Believing that I listen to people like Zakir Naik is part of your ignorance of me and what I believe. I listen to scholars who know what the hell they're talking about and who are intellectually honest and would not continue practicing Islam if they believed it was bad. I don't get into silly debates. It's a waste of my fucking time.There is not one atom in my body that cares 1% what you think of something I know.Bye

[dayati]

@americanmuslimgirl To be honest, you don't want to debate me regarding Islam because you will be here for months trying to defend your silly religion. No amount of apologetics fed to you by spin doctors like that fraud Naik are going to help you. Your religion is a joke based on a another religion that's also a joke.

[dayati]

@americanmuslimgirl Listen, I come from Iran, which is a theocracy based on Islam. My father is a scholar and is writing a book on Islamic history and another on Rumi. I think I know a thing or two about Islam, ok. American Muslims are mostly moderates. You are TOLD what Islam is, just like Catholics blindly following the Pope. To be honest, the whitewashing is actually a good thing because if you followed the Quran exactly, then you be just like the "monsters" you described.

[americanmuslimgirl]

@dayati (cont) And if I'm not a "real" Muslim than 98-99% of the Muslims I know are not "real" Muslims either.Practicing Muslims are the best people I know&that is why I credit Islam for their qualities.Those people I talked about are converts who don't speak Arabic&haven't been around practicing Muslims..Every single "bad Muslim" I have known were bad before they decided they wanted to be Muslim.They did a lot of major sins in their youth,then they start practicing due to a political awakening.

[americanmuslimgirl]

@dayati Thanks for your opinion, but it's bullshit. I am not a "moderate" Muslim. I blame the "monsters" on the inability to understand the spirit of Islam and a lack of proper education about Islam. Most people who become "bad Muslims" are not very well versed in Islam or in the Quran. They believe Islam is the same thing you think it is. You can't tell me what the Quran is or it isn't because you have no clue. Please let me learn my religion and stop trying to teach me what you think it is.

[dayati]

@americanmuslimgirl You just said Islam can turn people into both monsters and angels. You're crediting Islam for the "angels" but are you willing to blame Islam for the "monsters" as well? Judging from your name, chances are you are a "moderate" Muslim (meaning, you don't actually follow the Qu'ran). Just like white-washed Christians who don't really follow the Bible. You aren't good BECAUSE of Islam, you are good DESPITE it. The same book you praise has caused untold pain and suffering.

[americanmuslimgirl]

@dayati Don't you understand that the "same" religion that turns some into monsters can turn others into angels? I really pity you if you don't know any practicing Muslims who are better people because of it. That is one of the great tragedies of the state of Islam in these modern times. There's a hadith that says Islam entered as a stranger and it will leave as one. I don't see the number of people who identify themselves as Muslim significantly lowering any time soon. 

[funboy1231]

/watch?v=x8GgOVfZiag Best parenting advice. Please watch I highly reccomend every1 to view