Tom Waits: The Piano Has Been Drinking -1977

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Tom Waits The Piano Has Been Drinking Lyrics

The piano has been drinking
My necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York
The jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut
And the spotlight looks like a prison break
Cause the telephone's out of cigarettes
And the balcony's on the make
And the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking...

And the menus are all freezing
And the lightman's blind in one eye
And he can't see out of the other
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid
And he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking

Cause the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler
Cream puff casper milk toast
And the owner is a mental midget
With the I.Q. of a fencepost
Cause the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking...

And you can't find your waitress
With a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends
And you just can't get served
Without her
And the box-office is drooling
And the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling
And the ash-trays have retired
The piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking
Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me

THE PIANO HAS BEEN DRINKING, NOT ME: http://guerrillaradio.iobloggo.com/

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[MrJohnered]

And you can't find your waitress with a geiger counter

[XPIOLT]

I was turned onto Tom Waits in about 78-79 with the Album 'Closing Time'. My father would stop over and I would put it on and he would laugh and mock him. I agree with what Letterman said about him once, he's cool. Either you love him or hate him. Remember when he sued Cheetos because the cat used to act and sound just like Tom Waits? lol

[Uktrayf]

incredible



[futurfry]

Scripted

[supersharpower]

Thank you so much for this. This is as close as we humans get to a groovy time machine.

[zzyyxxo]

how cute he was. It seems a million years ago...

[speedyspooley]

is that Martin Mull?

[rockefe]

Ah youth. Some of these posters are obviously too young to remember Fernwood Tonight, a fake talk show spoofing talk shows. It was a spin-off of Mary Hartman Mary Hartman, Norman Lear's spoof of soap operas. It starred Martin Mull and Fred Williard. Tom is great in the bit. As @zaperfan stated, it's a gem!

[gomerpyleism]

Nick Caves FAther and Master.....and clone....and twin.....and triplet.....

[novadrian]

@zaperfan I think you've misinterpreted what's going on here. They're all brilliant. This is a gem.

[novadrian]

@briggaplease I don't think you get it either. In fact it's this type of clever, deadpan, satirical humour that is now lacking from American media. They're all brilliantly funny and Tom Waits manages to be bittersweet at the same time. Wonderful song...one of his best.

[novadrian]

@nomusician It's not faked at all. This is a genuine studio audience laughing at the brilliant deadpan humour of Tom Waits and the presenter. The song is just beautiful, bittersweet, sad and funny at the same time. The presenter is flippant because it's part of the act.