Rifftrax vs. Edward Cullen

Y'know, when I first heard that a tall, pale, scrawny guy was a sex symbol I thought, "Hey, there's still hope for tall, pale, scrawny guys like me!" Then I saw what a creepy dickhead Edward Cullen is, and realized that, no, there is no hope. So, I present a compilation of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett giving this fembot sparkly vampire exactly what he deserves.

For more Rifftrax, go to http://www.rifftrax.com

Also, sorry about the subtitles in the original Twilight bits. For some reason, I couldn't get the DVD to turn subtitles off. I hope it's not too distracting.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• rifftrax
• twilight
• new
• moon
• mike
• nelson
• kevin
• murphy
• bill
• corbett
• edward
• cullen
• robert
• pattinson
• comedy
• parody
• movies
• scary movie
• humor
• horror movie
• douchebag

[arocknrolldream]

my personal fave (which was, unfortunately, not here):

"We think of ourselves as vegetarians. We only survive on the blood of animals." "Ah, so your family is confused or stupid."

[WesHatesYourMovie]

@arocknrolldream I liked that one too. But I felt it was more a riff on the Cullen family, rather than on Edward himself, so I didn't include it.

[Iamafishproductions]

"I feel very..gassy."

"I don't have...a wang."

"No, I don't...have a personality."

"I like watching you sleep. It's, um...extra creepy!"

"So you're...you're as gay as all hell, aren't you?"

"Some people. No giant pause necessary."

"KIND OF PLAN. It's not that damn hard."

"He wants to be alone...with other girls."

"I have one...condition...syphillis."

I think the only reason these personality vacuums pause so damn much is to make room for Rifftrax jokes. There's no other explanation.

[TheBelieveit1]

Simba, remember who you are.

[TheBelieveit1]

Team: Guy who almost hit Bella with a car

[eastwing329]

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllll­ladies.

[SamuraiPie8111]

You see, im a koala bear

[JamesOhGoodie]

Okay if his face at 6:15 is any indicator, the concept of "plans" disgusts him.

[EmmaOnATangent]

If there's no hope for pale, skinny, bland faced men who pause way too much when delivering their lines, then why is Spock still hotter than a supernova - even in the new movie (where he plays a 180 year old)? It isn't the fact that they're pale or skinny, or bland or pause-y, it's that Nimoy can act, and he rose above his material. Pattinson just isn't a good enough actor to rise above the dreck that is Twilight.

Plus Bella is a sad, sad excuse for the modern version of Nurse Chapel. ;)

[metalangel12311]

hey there's nothing wrong with (real) pale skinny guys :O they're awesome, and one of my fave guys (Mikey Way from MCR)'s a pale skinny guy :) so hey, there IS hope for you, no need to feel bad :P

that aisde, awesome vid, just as funny as Bella VS rifftrax XDD