Dissin' Sola Scriptura

The Lord says He wants unity and no schism in His Church
yet each "church" contradicts the others about doctrines and faith and works;
If I spent my life researching interpretations I know I'd lose all hope,
Because with over 25,000 denominations I'd be at the end of my rope.

I swear all this confusion
is the work of Satan and his minions,
Because three people can read the same Bible
and give you four opinions!

Now, for a while I thought the problem was
most people just don't study hard enough,
So I dove into lots and lots of books
until I thought my mind was tough.

But then I realized that even brilliant people disagree
and so my outlook started looking grim
because even if they're checking up on me,
who's checking up on them?

"Sola Scriptura!" they all replied,
as the cure to every woe . . .
"If you consult the Bible, and the Bible alone,
you'll learn all you need to know."

So let's test this theory with a real life doctrine like prayers for the dead . . .
are they evil, or are they good?
Yet, this Bible does not say whether I should pray for the dead,
While this Bible says that I should.

Faced with this critical doctrinal question,
will Sola Scriptura crumble, or will it thrive?
Should I accept the Bible that has 66 books?
Or the Bible that has 75?

Now this is no small question of esoteric education,
especially for Christians who claim the Bible as their very Faith's foundation;
The books found here, that are missing from here,
contain prophecies of Christ,
encouragement to pray for the dead,
and to give alms to rescue one's life.

So should we accept these doctrines? or just cast them beneath our feet?
It depends which Bible is the true one, and which Bible is incomplete.
But this doctrinal point is just the place where Sola Scriptura fails
This critical doctrinal question takes the wind right out of its sails,

For you can search the Bible from front to back, inside out and upside down,
Yet from Genesis to Revelation, a list of books cannot be found;
Protestants around the world have studied, searched, and inquired,
and to this day they all agree the Bible's table of contents is not inspired

So to answer this doctrinal question
there are men's opinions which Protestants quote,
But the Bible has not one chapter, not one verse,
to reveal which books the Holy Spirit wrote.

So it seems that maybe Protestants
are on a rather ironic mission;
They say their doctrines are based on the Bible alone,
yet their Bible is based on Protestant Tradition.

So the next time a Protestant asks you to become a "Sola Scriptura" guy,
Just ask him whether you should use your Bible or his . . . and why?

When he presents an argument not straight from Scripture,
you can invite him to cease his talks,
For if his faith leans on Church Tradition,
then it's time for your friend to become Orthodox!

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