Abuse Victim's New Year Resolutions

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

1. I will treat myself with dignity and demand respect from others. I will not allow anyone to disrespect me.

2. I will set clear boundaries and make known to others what I regard as permissible and acceptable behavior and what is out of bounds.

3. I will not tolerate abuse and aggression in any form or guise. I will seek to terminate such misconduct instantly and unequivocally.

4. I will be assertive and unambiguous about my needs, wishes, and expectations from others. I will not be arrogant - but I will be confident. I will not be selfish and narcissistic - but I will love and care for myself.

5. I will get to know myself better.

6. I will treat others as I want them to treat me. I will try to lead by way of self-example.

7. If I am habitually disrespected, abused, or if my boundaries are ignored and breached I will terminate the relationship with the abuser forthwith. Zero tolerance and no second chance will be my maxims of self-preservation.

(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• abuse
• victim
• survivor
• dignity
• respect
• assertiveness
• zero tolerance
• second chance
• boundaries
• resolutions
• new year
• abuser
• relationship

[dylandebbiesteph]

Thank you Sam :) Happy new year to you too!

[rhapsodyblue100]

I will print this out and frame it! Thank you Sam!

[organysntracey1]

@THEOZZYFUL Thanks you!

[THEOZZYFUL]

@organysntracey1 it will get easier as you go along

when someone is trying to get a second chance you need to remind yourself of their behavior and what they did yo you

i was always forgiving and because of that i got trampled on constantly

after i set my boundries and stuck to them my life got much better very quickly

first few times is hard after that it gets easy because you are noticing a lot of positive change in your life

[evpointfinder]

I need to vent...I am so sick and tired of living with a psychopath...He walks into the house and immediately starts bitching at me...then he gets on the phone with someone else and starts laughing like everything is just peachy. Urgh!!!! The constant non-stop talking...draining me...The excessively high negative energy level. You can't set boundaries with these people...it thows them into an instant attack.

[Stigggs]

Sam:

Thanks for the videos that you made available for free in 2011.

In 2012 I would like to hear your response to a book by CS Lewis called the Great Divorce. I'd especially like to hear you comment on chapter XII - XIII. Where - I believe we come upon an example of a narcissist (his false self and true self ) still demanding narcissistic supply from a former co-dependent Sarah Smith. Id also welcome comments on any of the other characters and their disorders that you may find in the book.

[Kathydrel]

Dear Sam, thank you for sharing your gift of insight with the suffering souls of this world! You have brought peace and understanding to our crazy world. This is a priceless gift that I can only hope to reciprocate with my heartfelt prayers for you and your loved ones , and by taking the advice you so generously offer. I thank God for you ; ) may you be blessed Sam, as you have blessed others. Happy Hollidays

[Pippisongbird]

@Pippisongbird I see that Fetish was being sarcastic because she put the word selfish in quotes. I do think it is important to define things differently and not to use the abusive person's definitions. That means they have power. Why not just say, "the bill of rights".

[organysntracey1]

I say and work on these things you mentioned nearly every day. The hardest one is, "no second chances". That's always been my biggest downfall.... I let things go, and give chance after chance. For sure, this one is one of my challenges. Thank you for this vid... and I look forward to many more.

[deepmind50]

Thank-you and happy holidays.

[Spatoochna]

Thank you, Sam. I needed to hear this.

[069220]

That was amazing Mr. Vaknin! I am anxiously looking forward to listening to all of your videos next year!