"When First We Faced" by Philip Larkin (poetry reading)

It's somehow strange to get a love poem from Philip Larkin. Larkin never married but he had a long term relationship with Monica Jones.

Somebody said that only the first time do we love unconditionally - after that there's a certain deliberation about it. We can never regain that first careless rapture - or rupture, if you prefer Kenneth Horne's version. After the first time, love is haunted by the ghosts of former lovers.

We're all deceived into thinking that we're loved because we're lovable. It's not true. Love is no more than an inexplicable preference, like a favourite colour or a liking for particular kind of jam. The truth is that, whoever you are, whatever your features are like,there's probably somebody who is capable of loving you. They won't care that you're too fat, can't spell and never change your socks. (On second thought you'd better change your socks - I'm not too sure about that bit) You happen to be their cup of tea. If everybody didn't have a loving counterpart, then there would be something seriously amiss with Intelligent Design - or whatever creative process you believe got us into this predicament.

My wife loves me but I know that's because she has a loving nature. I didn't do anything to deserve it. Dostoevski that the true hell isn't being unloved, it is being incapable of loving. I'm not so sure. I think that hell is having been loved, then ruined it by our own malice or stupidity. So if you're lucky enough to be loved, take care not to do anything to spoil it. Don't test it to destruction. You can't make yourself lovable but you can certainly make yourself unlovable and ruin what love you have. All it takes is a little carelessness. Then you'll be in hell.

The stills from "Brief Encounter" 1945 show Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard.

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• When First We Faced
• Philip
• Larkin
• love
• poem

[swantonist]

i've never loved anyone romantically, i don't think there is someone exactly like me, but that won't equal love would it? thought sometimes i wonder... if i see a girl i think "she's not pretty enough" or "she's not smart enough". That is, i think i'm sabotaging myself. Or maybe i'm not, and there is no one out there.

also i DO think hell is being unloved. Not being able to love just means you're not human.

[langstonify]

Wonderful--fine reading. Thanks.

[mnolanporter]

@TomRAFC I like to switch it up, & buy a jar of apricot after I've finished one of raspberry.

[TomRAFC]

this leaves one important question, what is your favourite jam?

[thissong4you]

This is a lovely poem I had not seen before. I've now listened to it several times and look forward to listening again. For me the poem is one of new beginnings. The past, the decades of a different life, belong to others, but romantic love, even when we well know the early moves, still has the power to make "us feel so new, and gentle-sharp and strange." Thank you again for your beautiful reading.