My Suicide Attempt, and the abuse I suffered at the State Mental Institution

This is the story of my suicide attempt in December of 2009. I prefer to remain nameless, and essentially uknown in identity, simply because of the very personal nature of the incident. I am speaking very candidly here. Many painful things actually led up to this, not all of them explained here. I have had good times in my life but I have also suffered a great deal, and have been a "guest", I'll just say, in several psychiatric facilities, where I was "incarcerated" based on the diagnoses of depression and anxiety. Also, my apologies for a few moments where I struggled emotionally in this piece. I sound kind of smarmy but it is true emotion; I still have a very difficult time with some of the issues related to this situation.

This is actually my first posting on YouTube so I don't exactly know how things work yet. This was just something that I recorded spontaneously via audio recorder (I was in a very reflective mood) and I felt a sudden compulsory need to post it; I think as a means of getting it outside of myself. So this is really intended as more of a therapy for me than anything else. But...we'll see how THAT goes.

Sorry about the one-frame video -- this is not something I was trying to make into a creative production.

Anyway, thanks.
UndecidedlyMe

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• suicide
• attempt
• family
• betrayal
• mother
• brother
• kalamazoo
• state
• mental
• hospital
• psychiatric
• car
• crash
• hit
• tree
• AAA
• cruel
• nasty
• mean
• doctor
• nurse

[four4vizslas]

Some ER staff do not have a good bedside manner/disposition. I've worked in the ER before and they should have given you a small sedative (i.e. 10mg Valium, 1mg Ativan or even Benadryl).

I've given patients this when I was a parameic & I find that to be effective in many cases. Also, staff on the psychiatric unit tend to be "nicer" than ER staff because MOST choose to work there.

I advocate for mental illness & recommend patients file complaints with the JOINT COMMISSION & STATE MENTAL DIV

[nicknackrap]

Hey Man...I feel your pain. I was in a very similair place. Howve you been doing recently ?

[CaliBoyExtreme92]

how are you doing now? are you doing much better? I'm so worried because my gf tried to commit suicide on Thursday and now shes in hospital, unconscious and undergoing blood transfusions. i just wish i could've been able to talk to her about what was bothering her, shes been through a lot in her life and has been cutting for years but i never realized it could end like this...

i hope your doing good now.

have a good recovery (: