How to Live Like Gwyneth Paltrow

So you don't have her looks, her pedigree, a rock star husband, famous friends, or unlimited funds. The least you can do is _try_ to live like Gwyneth Paltrow, by following a few tips from her lifestyle blog GOOP. Here are a few ways Gwyneth honors her motto: "Nourish the inner aspect."

To complete this how-to, you will need:

7-day cleanses
Positive thoughts
Conspicuous consumption
Exercise
Classics
Cucumber smoothies
Castor oil (optional)

Step 1: Detox

Do the occasional 7-day cleanse. Eliminate dairy, grains with gluten, meat, shellfish, fatty nuts like peanuts and macadamias, condiments, sugar, alcohol, caffeine, soda, nightshade vegetables, and anything processed, including all soy products. The rest of the time, eat whatever you want -- except for sugar, white flour, dairy, and caffeine. Good luck!

If the cleanse causes constipation, drink 1/2 cup castor oil.

Step 2: Police your thoughts

Police your thoughts to replace negativity with sunshine and lollipops. Specifically, do not delight in the misfortunes of others -- as Gwyneth admitted on GOOP she once did when "something unfortunate and humiliating" happened to an ex-friend.

Step 3: Turn off the tap

"Take your drinking water to the next level" with an alkaline filtration system. Surely clean water is worth the $900 price tag. And while you've got the credit card out, here's a tip: Women _love_ the Hermes Cape Cod Watch. At $1,850, why not buy 2?

Step 4: Work out

Exercise 3 hours per day, preferably with a personal trainer. But tell people you only work out half that time so they'll never be able to replicate your results.

Step 5: Read

Discover the classics, then urge everyone you know to do the same, as Gwyneth does on GOOP. Try not to be too disappointed to learn that most people already read them in high school.

Step 6: Celebrate

If you successfully adhered to even one of these steps, congratulations! You deserve a drink -- a cucumber, basil, and lime concoction, to be exact. As Gwyneth says, pretend it's a mojito. I'm sorry -- are those negative thoughts we're sensing?

Gwyneth Paltrow's paternal great-grandfather, whose surname was "Paltrowicz," was a rabbi in Nowogród, Poland.

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Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• live
• Gwyneth
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• goop
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• cleanse
• exercise
• constipation
• Gwyneth paltrow
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• goop blog
• gwyneth paltrow goop
• Gwyneth paltrow blog

[TheJashinTV]

thumbs up if you think howcasts videos got as gay as the new spongebob episodes

[CokedUpPuppy]

How to live like Miley Cyrus:

Step one: Get onto a kid's show

Step two: Act like a whore

Step three: Give a guy a lap dance

Step four: Smoke from a bong

Step Five: Mutilate a classic Nirvana song

[senorretard]

wtf

[ProjectGod7]

lol



[ameliaparvaneh]

@cinderella433 People have a difficult time understanding satire. :) I thought the video was hilarious.

[txrianna]

me:ok! ill see whats this about!!

*end of video*

me: uhhhh on second thoughts nevermind...

[kpirrone]

HAHAHAHA - this is hilarious! I heard Gwyneth thinks its funny! Well Done How Cast!

[JustinBattle10]

@geeksrchic1368 Clearly it was...

[Ladylyla]

you must be running out of ideas...

[niggergotswag]

Even the actress was like "WTF?"