LincolnBack

Macalester College's Sketch Comedy Troupe Bad Comedy Performs LincolnBack

Written and Directed by: Ben Glickstein
Performed by: Rhett duPont, James Mallek, Joseph Houlihan, Emma Liliedahl-Allen, Nisse Greenberg, Ben Glickstein, Lara Avery, Hannah Wydeven, Paul Burns, CP, Matt Farrell

Lyrics:

Lead Necromancer:
Im bringing Lincoln back,
You politicians dont know how to act.
We call upon him with the devils pact.
Your feeble brains will serve him as a snack.

Necromancers Assistant:
Raise him from the dead!

Lincoln:
United Staaaates,
sland of the free and home of the braaave!
So fuck these shackles baby, free these slaaaaves!
And while youre at it bitch, stop hatin gaaaaayys.

Necromancers Assistant:
Heed his every word!

Lincoln: Feed the poor!
Gov't Official: Go ahead, get on with it
End the war!
Drugs for free!
Drinks on me!
Waffles every day!
And suck some face!
Harness the wind!
Breed tiger-men!
And get your sexy on

Lincoln: Get your sexy on
Officials: Fourscore and seven!
[Repeat 6 times]

Official/Necromancer:
Im bringing Lincoln back!
He didnt die of fucking heart attack
John Wilkes Booth shot him baby, it was whack!
Hes back to rule the world now thats a fact.

Vice-Official/Assistant Necromancer:
Give him back his hat!

Lincoln:
Foolish knaaaaves,
Some punk-ass shot me while I watched a plaaay!
While Ive been resting yall have misbehaaved!
So listen close or you can fill my graaaave!

Vice-Official: Heed his every word!

Lincoln: My face on every bill!
Official: Go ahead, get on with it
Lincoln: Rename this Lincolnville!
Some say that I was gay.
I had a funeral train.
Why arent there dinosaurs yet?
Did y'all fuckin' see Jurassic Park?
Youve got the technology.
That would be sweet.
And get your Lincoln on

Lincoln: Get your Lincoln on
Officials: Fourscore and seven

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• SexyBack
• Justin Timberlake
• Bad Comedy
• Macalester College
• Song Parody
• Abraham Lincoln
• Zombie