I wrote this parody of the movie Slumdog Millionaire for UC Davis's 2009 SASO Culture Show. Enjoy.
Parody of Slumdog Millionaire
Cast
Uzair Saleem..........Jamal Malik
Maaz Ali................Anil Kapoor
Sohail Kareem.........Uzair Saleem
Omar Siddiqui..........Punjabi roommate 1
Zeeshawn Khan.......Punjabi roommate 2
Umang Patel........... Umang Patel roommate 3
Saher Randhawa......Priya (Uzair's girlfriend)
Tahreem Fatany.......Priya with Facial Hair
Saba Randhawa........Lakita
Maaz: Welcome to who wants to be a MILLIONAIRE!!! I have with me today on the hotseat, Jamal Malik...a street child from the Juhu Slums...So Jamal...are you ready?
Uzair: *pause* uhh..I think so..
Maaz: Then let's play...WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE...
The first Question... for 10,000 Rupees.. What do you call the sticks used in Raas Garba Dance?
A.) Pick up Sticks
B.) Dandiya Sticks
C.) Bread Sticks
D.) Ninja Sticks
DUM DUM DUM...
DUM DUM
DUM DUM
Uzair: Uh could you stop making that noise?
Maaz: What noise?....DUM DUM... DUM DUM...
Uzair: This is tough, I'm going to go with B, Dandiya Sticks...
Maaz: Are you sure Chai Wala? This is more money than you've seen in your whole life.
Uzair: B Final Answer.
Maaz: Computer gee, B lock kegi...you are right!!!!! You've won 10,000 rupees!!!!!......But....HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW THIS?! YOU CHEATER!
Uzair: Listen! Im not cheating! My freshmen year I used to live with 3 roommates, 2 punjabi and 1 gujrathi. One day after classes my roommates got into an argument...To be honest with you, I dont remember exactly what the argument was over, but it was sometime along the lines of, my biceps are bigger than yours After several minutes the argument got heated and they started hitting and punching each other!
At first I tried to break up the fight using my words I was like, hey guys, I dont think you should be fighting, because frankly, all youre really doing is supporting popular sterotypes about punjabi people!
But somehow I guess this comment was offensive! because suddenly they teamed up and started punching and kicking me! I thought I was going to die but then something magical happen! My roommate Umang came into the room! Umang walked into the room holding these magical sticks. He knocked them both unconscious with his sticks. After all this, I said "wow Umang, you saved my life, but howd you do it? He said, it was easy man, I came home from Raas Garba practice and I had my dandiya sticks"
Question 2...for 50,000 Rupees...In what year did India and Pakistan separate and become 2 distinct nations?
A.) 2009
B.) 1942: A LOVE STORY
C.) 1947
D.) 1988
Uzair: I'm going to go with C.
Maaz: Is that your Final answer?
Uzair: Yes.
Computer gee, C lock -keya jei
Maaz: YOU ARE CORRECT!! you have won 50,000 RUPEES! but you cheat! how did you know that!! (Look at audience and ask them)- "how did he know that! did you help him?! you CHEAT!"
Uzair: Listen man! My sophomore year of college, I started dating this really really pretty indian girl named Priya. After about 6 months we fell in love. But soon after that, because Im a guy and I have commitment issues, I started to notice random things about her that werent that great. One day we were walking through the park and I said, Hey Prika, why the hell do you have so much facial hair?! She was like, why are you so superficial, why does it matter what I look like?!
At that point, I knew I had to breakup with herso one day i took her out to a really romantic dinner at taco bell, i turned to her and said Priya, Im sorry baby but, we have to break up She said, NO, BUT WHY? I LOVE YOU! I said, I love you too..But because im Pakistani and youre Indian, thats not gonna work in the long run She said, Wait, but didnt you know India and Pakistan used to be one country? I said Shut the hell up! Indian and Pakistan were 1 country?!?! When the hell was this? She goes, Yeah! Its true, they were one country in 1947! I said, Well that sucks because its 2009, PEACE BABY!
Maaz: OK Jamal, this is it, this is the big one! Here we go.....
For 20 million rupees, Question number 3, What is the name of the next act in the 2009 UC Davis Culture Show?
A.) Pakistani Act
B.) Fashion Show
C.) Bhangra Act
D.) Hindi Film 2
Uzair: uhhhhh..... I don't know.. This is the hardest question..I'm going to have to phone a friend...
RING RING RING RING
Saba: Hello?
Uzair: LATIKA?!....................
Saba: Uh no, who the hell is this?
Uzair: It's me, Jamal! Latika! I need your help!
Saba: Honey, I don't know who you be calling Latika, my name is LatikWA, heeeeeeeeey
Uzair: Manwhat do I do now??? I'm gonna go with E, All the above..
Maaz: That isn't an option
Uzair: Okay, lets go with Hindi Film Act, give it up for Hindi Film 2!!!
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Munnabhai meets Gandhiji Playby AXAY3724,197 views
wow, I didn't even know this was on youtube, lol, and once again I played Latika, not saba, but great job on the skit, best one the whole night for sure.
Saher029 2 years ago