How To Deal With a Mean Boss

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Sadly, into each life at least one mean, nasty, low-down, no-good boss must fall. When it's your turn, you'll want these survival tips.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Cunning
Suck-up skills
Some little white lies

Step 1: Limit contact

Avoid contact with your boss—if you see him down the hall, duck into the nearest file room; if you spy him headed toward your cubicle, pick up the phone and pantomime that you'll get back to him.

Tip: If you and the boss are the same sex, note his bathroom routine—most people have one—so you don't have to endure awkward stall-to-stall or sink-to-sink encounters.

Step 2: Volunteer for work trips

Maximize your time away from the office—and, therefore, him—by being the first to volunteer when it's announced that someone needs to check up on operations in Lapland.

Tip: Schedule time off so that it never, ever coincides with his time off—that way you'll get twice the break from him.

Step 3: Perfect your acting skills

When your boss is being a jerk, remain serene and polite—even if your head is about to explode. There's nothing that annoys a bully more than someone who won't rise to his taunts.

Step 4: Make him sound like a slacker

Whenever anyone is looking for him, act as if you're trying to cover for him. Everyone will assume he's guilty of something and feel sorry for you. Apologize for his unreliability.

Step 5: Keep a paper trail

Keep written proof of everything you do so the boss can't take credit for your work.

Step 6: Report him

File an anonymous report with Personnel, citing his "unreasonable" computer use for personal business. You won't even be lying—if he's like the vast majority of Americans, he wastes over two hours a day on non-work-related nonsense.

Step 7: Suck up to superiors

Make yourself known to your boss's superiors. Most mean bosses get their due sooner or later, and you want to be in a position to ascend the ladder—or at least not be fired.

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[izzle8103]

omg just record him when he saying something mean and get him fired

[TwilightGirl90210]

sometimes.... there is no good side.... -cries-

[Grapes428]

My boss most definitely bad mouths his supervisors to other co-workers. And of course calls them names under his breath. I can't stand when he is unprofessional either, like yell at his employees while on the phone with clients or where the clients can see them.

[squirell1952]

@1PartAngel - TELL THE POLICE ABOUT THE NIPPLE T HING.

TELL THE WOMMANN'S H UBBY ABOUT WHAT THE MALE BOSS IS DOING TO HIS WIFE.

[squirell1952]

@08IS350 - do you not have a Union to protect you?

You could get a heart attack.

Stress kills, you know.

AND ALL BECAUSE YOU ARE AFRAIND OF YOUR BOSS.

[squirell1952]

HANG THE BASTARDS WITH YOUR SECRET R ECORDER.

HANG THE BASTARDS BY KEEPING AN ACCURATE RECORD EVERY SINGLE DAY IN YOUR DIARY.

AND IF YOU ARE IN A UNNIONIZED PLACE AND THE SHOP STEWARD IS A LICK ARSE, GET IN TOUCH WITH THE SUN NEWSPAPER. THEY'LL KEEP THOSE BROWN TONGUED PEOPLE IN THEIR PROPER PLACES. IT WORKS EVERY T IME.

GO FOR IT. TODAY IS THE FIRST DAYOF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

NOT TOOMORROW. BUT TODAY. NOT YESTERDAY. TODAY!!!!!

[squirell1952]

I HAD A CUNT FOR A BOSS

I SECRETLY RECORDED EVERYTHING THE CUNT SAID.

IN THE END, I MADE A CUNT OUT THE CUNT.

AMEN!

[squirell1952]

IF YOU KEEP A DIARY, YOU CAN HANG THE FUCKING BASTARD.

BUT BE IN A TRADE UNIONIZED COMPANY, TOO..

WOMEN BOSSES ARE NOW CATCHING ALL THE DISEASES MALE BOSSES HAVE BEEN CATCHING FOR YEARS .. HEART ATTACKS, CANCER, YOU NAME IT.

GOOD! I AM DELIGHTED TO HEAR IT! I COULDSN'T GIVE A S HITE FOR BULLY BOSSES. THEY THINK THEY OWN YOU, THEY PICK ON EVERY LITTLE THING.

SO, JUST BUY A DIARY AND WRITE EVERY LITTLE SINGLE THING THE FUCKING CUNT SAYS TO YOU. HAND HER. INVEST IN A SECRET CAMERA RECORDER!!

[javoneybaby]

The pen is mightier than the sword mis-treted employees.They want politics serve them cold politics.Always remember that a nasty bosse's arrogance can be beneficial to you because it's usually what leads them into their undoing.A boss that mistreats employees under them and creates an unconfortable work enviroments brings moral down and ends up costing companies millions.

[javoneybaby]

.one of by bosses belittled me and shouted at me and i have her on record doing it but i dont allow her to get to me.If you guys would here her speak you'd see just how uneducated she is.She sounds like a really moron i might post the tape one of these days for you to see what a horrible human being she is...she sound like a very rough woman nothiing like a lady and she sounds like shes been smoking for atleast a century lol

[SaberTanker22]

at the 30 second mark that how my day is at work lol.

[ELLERxTHExGREAT]

Step one:put a gun up in his head and say shut up or i WILL blast your head off