Click more for transcript of audio (thanks April). Recorded at Just The Tonic's Christmas Extreme at The Royal Centre in Nottingham 22nd Dec 2006.
BEGINNING OF TRANSCRIPT:
Noel:
Have you finished...
Click more for transcript of audio (thanks April). Recorded at Just The Tonic's Christmas Extreme at The Royal Centre in Nottingham 22nd Dec 2006.
BEGINNING OF TRANSCRIPT:
Noel: Have you finished with your travel card? Have you finished with your travel card? Have you finished with your travel card? Have you finished? Have you? Have you finished? Have you? Have you finished?
I I
Man1: *inaudible*
Noel: Are you interrupting again? Its you again, isnt it? There cant be two twats in that tiny area.
Man 2: Hey you suck!
Noel: Sorry?
Man 2: You suck!
Noel: Who, me or him?
Man2: Both of you!
Noel: Both of us? Youre.. youre third in that order though, surely. Even him, he's a total cunt, youre bett, uh, worse than him. Do I suck?
Man2: Yes!
Man1: Are you gunna shave your head?
Noel: Am I gunna shave my head? Jeez You suck, yes, are you gunna shave your head? Yeah, I am, yeah, this is what this is about. This is a hairdressers. This is the Barbers preamble before he comes out and cuts my hair. There's four of them and were gunna do a fucking quartet then I'm gunna stab you in the eyes with the scissors.
Man1: How do you put your trousers on?
Noel: Huh?
Man1: How do you put your trousers on?
Noel: How do I put them on? Is that a trick question?
Man1: Want me to show you?
Noel: I put them in the fire, then come down the chimney. And then at night, I take them off again to fuck your momma.
Man1: Youre not very imaginative!
Noel: Well I fuck her in an imaginative way. I dress her up as a penguin and then set fire to her.
*Man1 doesnt reply.*
Noel: Anything? I dont mind, I love these games, cmon. Silence is golden. Look at you, creepin off in the dark like Fergal Sharkey. Now you got nothing to say. Not very imaginative. Everyone hates you.
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New Romantic is throwing a little tantrum! His little fists pound the keyboard! "Life is so unfair!" Our little hero exclaims. "Why does it always rain on me!" "I try so very hard to be cool, yet no one appreciates me!" New Romantic combed his enormous fringe into a spike " Now they'll love me , he sobbed, they'll love me more than Boy George" And then a rock fell on his head and he died.
Oh boy, I'm so getting schooled, oh God what will I do? Who can stand the power of the Intellect of NewRomantic? Don't mess with this Oscar Wilde like genius! Stay back everyone, you've been warned. "Cuss words?" Gurn damn it jimmity , lets durn git outa here while the gittings good!
omg u dont even get it! im speaking to a fool, stop watching noel videos if you dont like noel, simple! hes funnier than you... fucking dane cook kis even funnier than you, u think ur funny but ur not, just leave
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And then a rock fell on his head and he died.