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boburnham
June 17, 2008

text STANDUP BURNHAM to 44686 its free and the votes are unlimited. it's to help me win comedy central's stand up showdown 2010! you can vote here http://bit.ly/70EmxQ spread the word! voting end...

text STANDUP BURNHAM to 44686
its free and the votes are unlimited. it's to help me win comedy central's stand up showdown 2010! you can vote here http://bit.ly/70EmxQ
spread the word! voting ends january 29th 2010!

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZ...
&s=143441

buy that shit!

music and lyrics by bo burnham
Now I don't know if all boy scouts are gays
But they could probably "tie the knot" in like fifty different ways...
I got a safe full o' cherries, cause I pop it and lock it,
A girl's like a fridge, once a week you should stock (stalk) it,
And girl, if your into a rimmin its only safe if your swimming,
And girl don't sit on the couch cause I treat my objects like women.
I spit fire like I just blew a demon
My shits so hot I leave the toilet bowl steamin
Girl im gonna tear it (tarot), like the cards of the gypsies
Youll bleed for so long youll get monthly ellipses.
If the pants are loose, girl I'll replete (re-pleat) ya.
You're a first time vegan and its nice to meet (meat) ya

I'm bo yo
And im the greatest rappa eva
And I'll weather your weather whether you think im clever or not
Think your better your not
Don't need a sweater im hot
Im a real G shawty that can really find your g spot

Go to a
Vagina orchard, count 1,2,3
Spin that plant around you got a third world country (whirled c*nt tree)
That's right, consider yourself warned
Im offensive and creative like handicapped porn
Your playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma'am?
Your pushin em together like a titty Venn Diagram
Look at that CRACK scuse me can I buy a gram?
Right below your diaphram, ass looks like your hidin ham.

First base, were making out
Second base, im getting faked out.
Third base, im getting take out
And I'd try to take it home if I knew I'd take it out
But I just don't know I said I just don't care
My flos so cold I need a tampon from a polar bear
Cause you can smell and spell my stink
B.O. lingers and it makes you think

Chorus...

Girls are like donuts when I be bustin bo nuts,
I can make em cream-filled or give them a layer of glaze
Im like doug's friend Skeeter whenever I meet her.
Casue I skeet her so hard you could call her Patty Mayonnaise.
My girl is epyletic cause shes the one im jerkin with
Common you asian child laborer show me what your workin with...

Cause theres an inverse relationship between respect and sects
Im talking bout religious sects like a mormon sect
That says you cant have sex with members of different sects, but you cant have sex with members of the same sex
So if the sects cant be different, the sex can be same, then the only sex left is some left hand shame
And girl I left you cause u left the game and if that don't feel right then u can write my name

Chorus....

Look pass the skin and look to the lyrics
I run miracle circles around you like spherical lyrics
This isn't about ironic pigment
If youre imagining this then I'm a chronic figment.

My junks so long that it hangs and swings, so at the nude baech people think im lookin for lost rings
Play the skin flute while ur big boy sings and if you want to take it all wear African neck rings.

Haters call me gay, but that aint hatin
Cuase im not homophobic, my morals are straight and
If im in the closet then you are below me (blow me)
Takin the b-a-t out of basement, homey

Category: Comedy

Tags:

rap funny song bo burnham boburnham yo fo sho

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